My Passionate Balance

What a SUPER Night!

2012-02-09T15:05:00.000-05:00

Super Bowl 2012 sure brought a lot of excitement to our city! Who knew Indianapolis could throw such a great party? After Ryan was able to go to the NFL Experience and to Media Day for work, I realized how badly I wanted to experience this HUGE event downtown Indy. Although I originally thought I was dreaming to think I'd get downtown (typically the temperature is way too cold for little kids), Mother Nature, being the football fan that she is, surprised us with much warmer temperatures this year. So, we planned to go Thursday, February 2nd, as a family of four.

Then...after having a strange stomach ache for two days, Noah's belly finally gave in and got sick during breakfast Thursday morning. I thought to myself, "How does this always happen to us?? Every time there is a special event or occasion, ~~Ryan~~ someone in this family has to get sick. :) As the day wore on and after a big nap, Noah seemed to be feeling much better! We decided to give it a shot and go downtown, and I'm so glad we did!

Super Bowl Village

Too bad Liam won't remember this day...what a neat experience!

Snuggle time during a free concert!

Noah sitting on the nice benches that "warmed your buns."

Carrying Liam in my kangaroo pouch!

Chasing each other on the small football field in Super Bowl Village

The famous zipline...or in Noah speak: "People Flying"

Best buddies.

The boys and me in front of Lucas Oil Stadium. Not sure why Noah and Liam both look so awestruck! :)

We really didn't do anything specific. Instead, we more or less just walked around and took in the excitement around us. I cannot believe that we forgot to the go the circle to get pictures with the Numerals. Oh well! Maybe next time - and really, that's quite a possibility since Indy did such an amazing job hosting the event! Despite my craving for nachos with cheese, it didn't work out, so we settled on vendor hot dogs on the way back to the Jeep. So thankful that we were able to park at Ryan's work for FREE downtown. What a perk! I love living around Indianapolis and can't wait to experience all that summer events that are just around the corner with Ryan and our two sweet boys.

Stop Growing, Boys!

2012-02-03T21:44:00.002-05:00

Brothers

How is it February already? It's hard to believe that Liam is almost 9 months old, and Noah is nearly 3 years, 9 months old. Suddenly, they both seem to have hit a HUGE spurts in their development. Liam's is more related to his motor skills, and Noah's seems to be more of a change in his physical appearance.

Liam crawled for the first time on January 13th, and within 5 days, he started pulling himself up to stand while holding onto our furniture or the boys' toys. And wow, he really got quick fast! At first I was just excited for him to be able to move from this toy to that toy by himself. Before, he was doing this hilarious roll over, crawl, and spin-on-his-shoulder technique to get from here to there. After just a week or so of crawling, Liam started moving really fast! I told Ryan that long gone are the days we could get ready while Liam happily played in an infant seat. That boy wants to move! I guess it must have something to do with having an older brother and seeing Noah move around the house. Noah really does pretty well with Liam getting into the toys. We really try to stress that things that used to be just Noah's (i.e., the train table, books, small toys, etc.) are now both of their toys. Noah does have some toys that are more his, like his toy cars, that he really enjoys. But at the same time, Liam is allowed to play with one if he'd like - we just don't make Noah give Liam his favorite one (Finn McMissle). Liam so far seems to like everything I feed him. His usual meals include applesauce, pears, cantaloupe, papaya, pumpkin, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, acorn squash, bananas, peas, green beans, and the newest one - potatoes with beets! Yes, beets. He seriously loves them, too. He opens his eyes and mouth really wide and makes an "AH! AH!" noise until I put a bite in his mouth. Personally, I have never eaten a beet, but my little stinker seems to love them!

Beets & Potato Face

I am cherishing the last 3 months I have of Liam's first year. Unless there is divine intervention or the adoption of a child in the future, he will be my last baby. When I close my eyes, I can still remember the excitement in my heart, the pain in my body, and the rush of emotions when he was born in that big tub of water and swooped in my arms. It still is so vivid in my memory! I have been blessed to exclusively breastfeed him, and although I never cried when Noah weaned at a year old, I can imagine that I will this time around. He's my last...my baby. He's growing too fast, and yet, I am so excited to get to know him more and to see him experience all the beautiful things this world has to offer him.

Cutie pie.

As for Noah, my sweet boy, well he just continues to grow taller and taller each time he wakes up in the morning. I keep telling him to stop growing so that he can be my baby forever, but he replies with such seriousness, "It's my job, Mom." He really has a sweet soul, that little guy. We say our prayers at night, each of us taking a turn. Noah usually says something like, "Dear Jesus, thank you for this beautiful day. Thank you for my mom and dad and helping me in the dark. Amen." Precious. One time, a couple months ago, I put him to bed and went downstairs. After about 15 minutes, he started crying, a truly scared cry. I ran back to his room, and he said, "Mommy, I'm just so scared in the dark." I said, "Noah, honey, you are safe in your room. All our doors are locked, and I am watching you in the monitor. God is all around you, keeping you safe, too. If you are scared, you need to ask God to protect you and help you feel safe." We prayed again, and he calmed down. I kissed him goodnight and went back downstairs. About ten minutes later, he said in a really excited voice and smiling from ear to ear, "Mommy! Guess what? I'm not scared anymore!" It was really sweet. Moments later, he fell right to sleep.

Getting so big...

When I look at Noah now, I no longer see my little toddler bobbling around with dimpled wrists and chubby cheeks. I see a little boy who runs with speed and jumps with his whole heart. He plays hard and loves us even harder. He's affectionate, loves his cuddle time with me. Noah can't wait until Ryan gets home so that they can play "chase" around the couch. I can tell already that Physical Touch and Quality Time are his primary Love Languages, and whenever I find Noah not being himself, if we can speak to him in those "languages," his behavior tends to turn around pretty quickly. We struggle on a daily basis trying to get him to eat new things. Noah will eat any fruit or vegetable I put in front of him (HOORAY) but will pass up on pasta, soup, pizza, casseroles, chicken, steak. You name it...he tends to hate it. We have tried several reactions to that behavior...from going to bed hungry to yelling to spanking to feeding him each and every bite. We quickly decided that we wanted to reserve spanking for more serious offenses, so that has left setting a timer, and when the time runs out, his food goes in the trash, which leaves him going to bed hungry. Good natural consequence, right? Too bad it doesn't seem to work...yet anyway. He has woken up in the middle of the night - we're talking 2 a.m. - begging for food. Thank goodness I'm a stubborn woman or else I would give in to that for sure. But no, we stay strong, committed to sticking to our consequences, and make him go back to bed hungry. The other night, he prayed his usual prayer but added the following without any prompting from us, "...and please help me eat better and faster. Amen." You should've seen the look on my face! I. LOVE. THIS. KID.

Two sons and the kind of father and husband every girl hopes to have when she dreams about the future. How did I get so lucky?

Compliments of Lemongrass Photography

Kitchen Remodel

2012-01-27T17:32:00.000-05:00

What began as a conversation with my friend Jessica about her helping her cousin install cabinets from IKEA...turned into an entire kitchen remodel for our family. I have been so excited to show off pictures, and since Ryan finished painting last night, here we go!

BEFORE:

We sold the cabinets, sink, faucet, and pulls for $700 on Craigslist! I was shocked to get that much, but it worked out great. I think the guy who bought them was putting everything in a rental house. After spending HOURS (I seriously enjoyed every second) designing our new kitchen on IKEA's website, Ryan, Liam, and I went to Cincinnati while Dalia kept Noah at her house (THANK YOU!!). We intended to buy a certain cabinet and ended up not liking it in person. We ended up choosing the Ramsjo in Black/Brown with Vinna handles. In October, our friends Kevin, Dalia, and Mark all helped clean, demolish, and build our new kitchen. We are indebted to them because we couldn' have done it without them!! We bought a Swanstone Composite Granite sink (LOVE THIS SINK!!!), an oil rubbed bronze faucet, laminate countertops (Canyon Passage with beveled edge), and a tile backsplash all from Menards. Ryan and I were quite the team. I was the designer, and he was the muscle! I think I had the better job. :) My mom's husband, Kent, was a HUGE help a couple weekends ago. He brought all of his tools and taught Ryan how to install the backsplash. It really made the kitchen complete! Ryan and I repainted the kitchen a neutral color, Hickory (Martha Stewart Collection at Home Depot), but we used our favorite paint: Behr's paint and primer in one. What do you think??

AFTER:

We added an entire section on the right side, extending the kitchen the complete length of the wall. I love these glass cabinets!!

Still trying to decide about stainless steel. Worried about how easily they get dirty!

The view when you walk in from the garage. They are 39" rather than the 30" ones we had before. All of the cabinets and drawers have a "no slam" feature, which I LOVE!!

LOVE THIS BACKSPLASH!!!

I was prepared to love my cabinets but didn't know how much I would love this sink!!!

The corner carousel cabinet where I keep all my baking and decorating items.

Finally! I can reach the items in the back corner cabinets because the shelves pull out completely

LOVE this pull out drawer for our items to recycle! We have another one for the trash by the fridge

This kitchen has been so fun to enjoy! It makes me less concerned about doing a project like this in the future. Doing the work ourselves was stressful at times, but we saved a lot of money and appreciate the final product that much more. WHAT DO YOU THINK???

Gotta Get the Ball Rolling Again

2012-01-24T22:30:00.000-05:00

Has it really been over a month since I last blogged? Good grief! Future Liam, if you're reading this, please don't think that I didn't care enough to write about all the precious and beautiful things you do to make me smile everyday. Future Noah, if you're reading this, please don't think that I didn't care enough to write about all of the hilarious things you said or the way you melted in my heart when you said, "Mommy, I just love you." To be completely honest, I find myself soaking up every minute I get with you while trying to keep up with running our house, and it just leaves me with little time to write. Of course, I have to keep a little balance by reading new books (Crazy Love and The Hunger Games trilogy were my latest reads), spending time with your daddy (he read the trilogy with me believe it or not!), and staring absentmindedly at the television. Blogging seems to have become less of a priority, but it is something I really do cherish. I know the memories I write down are the ones I remember the most. Someday, you will both nap at the same time and go to bed at the same time. Someday, you will need me less, which will be a joyful yet sad day. Someday, I will have time to write more. For now, though, once again I'm going to write a summary of major events that we enjoyed together as a family.

Noah was VERY excited to make these mini gingerbread houses! I realized how horrible I am about just letting go and letting the poor kid make a mess. I hope next year I can be better about sprinkles covering my floor, icing in his hair, and letting him just make them however he wants. I hate this part of me! Messes can be cleaned up, and I want him to have a great time. They turned out to be a great center piece all Christmas.

Noah and me riding the train at the mall - a favorite pasttime! I loved watching him wave to people saying "Merry Christmas!"

The Abell, Till, and Bauer Family Christmas Tours went off without a hitch. We had a wonderful time celebrating the birth of Christ with the people we love most! After a couple months of shopping and finding the perfect gifts for everyone, we watched excitedly while the presents were opened. We were also spoiled by our families!

The cousins at Grandma and Grandpa Till's before opening gifts.

Liam with my mom (Nannie) and Kent (Grandpa Bauer)

Classic Noah - in his PJs carrying a sippy cup and a snack trap. Love the new Advent Calendar I made in the background!

Christmas Eve Eve is a favorite Christmas tradition with Ryan's family! Kelli's kids put on a show for all of us, one that they spend weeks preparing, practicing, and creating. As usual, the show was incredible! I have such talented nieces and nephew.

Kelli with sweet Micah

Mady and Mikayla dancing and singing the night away

Christmas Eve morning - waiting to open gifts!

Santa decided that since Noah had a baby brother, they each needed their own elf to visit this Christmas season. Nick and Ralphie showed up December 1st and got into quite a bit of mischief. Spelling different words with various items (blocks, cereal, etc.), hanging from lights, driving cars, etc. Those two elves brought a lot of joy this season.

Silly elves!

Christmas Eve right before bed. Nick and Ralphie left a letter saying goodbye and one last gift: Twas the Night Before Christmas.

This was the best Christmas with Noah so far! He was so excited, and opening gifts was a lot of fun. Santa brought him the rocketship he wanted for so long, and Santa gave Liam a new car seat!

Christmas morning after Santa arrived

Noah with some of his favorites from Christmas morning

The little loves of my life

We said goodbye to my Grandpa Till on January 15, 2012. I was able to visit him once in December and again January 14th. Although I did not know my grandpa very well (mostly due to living far away from one another and seeing him only once per year), I had the privilege of praying over him with my cousin's wife (Katey) the day before he went left our world to go home to Heaven. My dad and Danette did everything in their power to ensure that my grandfather was given the best care during his last few months, and one or both of them visited almost every single day. He lived to be almost 93 years old, had four sons, seven grandchildren, and 16 great grandchildren. I would say that is a full life!

A visit with Grandpa in December

We had a wonderful Christmas season. Liam continues to heal more and more everyday. He began crawling January 13th and hasn't stopped moving since! Noah is seeming less and less like a toddler and more and more like a preschooler. Ryan and I celebrated our 7th Anniversary, and I have to say, it's been the best 7 years of my life. I also turned the big 3-0 on January 10th and had one of the best birthdays ever. Stay tuned for that blog! And that about sums it up. Let's just hope that I am able to keep this ball rolling because I love reading previous posts. I want my boys to have details from their childhood. Most of all, I never want to forget these years that only seem to be going by faster and faster with each passing day.

Cookies Galore!

2011-12-22T10:36:00.000-05:00

For the past couple of years, I have dreamed of making beautiful Christmas roll-out cookies. I love Pioneer Woman's blog post that gives details on how to properly make the icing needed to decorate. All the visual images of what the icing should look like are really helpful because icing tends to be such a fickle substance. Bridget from Bake at 350 gave instructions about how to make both the royal and flood icing perfectly. You can find the recipe for both HERE. I used squeeze bottles instead of piping bags because I didn't buy the right materials. To be honest, the squeeze bottles worked GREAT! I'm sure my outlining could have been a little more precise had I used the tips/decorating bags, but for my purposes and first shot at making this kind of cookie, the bottles worked great!

This cookie making adventure was a family affair. I used this recipe and loved it! It was super easy, did not require chilling, and didn't have any issues with being too sticky. Noah helped me measure and mix together all the ingredients to make the cookies. He kept asking, "Mommy, are these Santa's cookies?" So cute! He even helped cut out the first batch before he finally lost interest and ended up playing in the flour. :)

After baking the cookies on Tuesday, we decided to decorate them Wednesday at about 9:00 p.m. because the icing needs a long time to dry. Although it's not really his cup of tea, Ryan agreed to help me. He was in charge of sifting the powered sugar and quickly learned not to fill the sifter completely to the top. I think he breathed in a good amount of powered sugar with the cloud that was dancing above his head! The icing took about an hour to actually prepare it, mix in colors, and put into the squeeze bottles. Hopefully that will be a faster process next year now that I know how to do it. Then, the cookie decorating began!

This really was a lot of fun! I learned a few things through the process that I want to remember for next year. First, I made a double batch of icing. I used the first batch for the royal icing and the second for the flood icing. I had plenty leftover of each kind. So, i can either just make one batch for both or add 3 more colors next year. Second, I would probably roll my cookies out a little thicker next year. These are good - don't get me wrong - but they are a little more crispy. I like soft, Christmas cookies a little better! Other than those two things, I think my first attempt at this kind of cookies went rather well. I hope this gives you the motivation to do the same! Merry Christmas!

Liam's Smile

2011-12-19T23:07:00.000-05:00

Oh my, what a journey we experienced the past couple of months. With Liam's surgery seeming all too close yet very far away, we distracted ourselves as much as possible, remodeling the kitchen, installing a new bathroom vanity, and spending time with friends and family. Two weeks before Liam's scheduled surgery, we put our family on lock down. No one went anywhere unless absolutely necessary (i.e., going to work). We were trying to prevent any illness from sneaking its way into our home. We found lots of ways to stay busy and have fun indoors, like building tents.

We also had fun introducing lots of new foods to Liam's diet: butternut squash, sweet potatoes, acorn squash (a strange looking vegetable but very delicious!), pumpkin, green beans, pears, and applesauce. Liam had a really hard time pushing out his tongue the first couple of weeks he tried solids. Plus, because his lips couldn't close completely, food would slip out of his mouth. It was then that I knew we had to go through with this surgery.

Monday evening, two nights before surgery, Ryan and I were getting ready for bed when we heard this terrible barking cough. At first I couldn't believe it. I thought it was my ears playing tricks on me. We had isolated him for two weeks. How did he get the worst-sounding cough imaginable?! Ryan stood in the bathroom with a hot shower running so that Liam could breathe in the steam. Unfortunately, he only sounded worse, as the steam probably broke up some of the junk in his chest I just wanted to throw up my hands because we had done everything "right" to prevent that from happening. God had truly given me peace in my heart the week before that Liam was going to be fine and go through his surgery as scheduled. I couldn't make sense of the fact that he was sick. We prayed and prayed and prayed some more. Some of you reading this even prayed for him (THANK YOU!). The next morning, when I spoke to the nurse practitioner, Pat, she heard Liam coughing and became really concerned, too. She said unless he got worse to go ahead and bring him the next day as planned with the understanding that they could send us home. After all the preparations we had made and the strong desire to just put this whole thing behind us, we prayed and prayed some more that it would be safe for him to go through the procedure. We got the call that afternoon, telling us details about the latest Liam could have breast milk and pedialyte. After enjoying the day as a family, we fell asleep praying for all to go as scheduled the next day.

The next morning, Liam's feeding schedule went perfectly. He had never had pedialyte before and seemed to like it just fine! Ryan's parents came down to watch Noah and Kya (THANK YOU AGAIN!) and snapped a quick picture of our family before we left for Riley's Children's Hospital. When we first reached the Main Day Surgery area, we saw a pastor from our church waiting in the lobby. That was the first time I felt emotional that day because it hit me - we were in a situation where a pastor comes to the hospital to visit. We checked in at Main Day Surgery without any trouble and walked back to our little "cubicle," which was a small open room that could be made more private with a curtain. This waiting area was filled with small rooms just like it, lining up and down the hallways. Liam woke up right when we walked back there, so we weighed him, took his blood pressure, temperature, etc. and got him dressed in his hospital gown.

Seriously, how cute is this smile?

Liam was a little angel the whole time we waited. We spoke again to Pat, the nurse practitioner, met the anesthesiologist (Dr. Hamilton, who was absolutely wonderful to us!), Dr. Havlik, and other members of his team. After meeting with everyone, reality hit us. This surgery was going to happen. I felt such peace and happiness, so thankful for God's answer to our prayers. We took the next 30 minutes to just snuggle with Liam and enjoy his beautiful smile just a bit longer. For only 10 minutes of our entire wait did he get fussy, and we knew it was because he was hungry. Ryan wrapped an Operation Smile blanket around Liam and me, and I just sang "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" to him over and over again. He sucked his thumb while I just got a last few snuggles in. Then, two nurses came to take him to surgery. One, whose name was Angel (coincidence?), spoke to us and said that she had a little one at home Liam's age. That put my heart at ease. Another mom was going to take care of him and make sure he wasn't afraid. Ryan and I gave him a few more kisses and away he went. For the first time that day, I broke down. I knew everything was out of my control - that we had done everything we could to make sure he had the best care - and the rest was up to God's plan. Ryan and I held each other a bit behind that curtain, collected ourselves, and walked up to the waiting area where we spent the next 2 hours of the day.

We found my mom and my grandfather waiting for us. They were a good distraction for us, and we had a couple of sandwiches we had packed earlier that day. After the first hour of waiting, a nurse came by to give us the update that Liam was doing great in surgery. He didn't fuss once when they took him back before putting him under anesthesia. What a trooper! He was resting peacefully while Dr. Havlik was hard at work. After hearing the good news, it hit me even more that this was really happening, as strange as that may sound. Ryan and I took a walk around the hospital and visited the gift shop. We went back to the waiting area, and before we knew it, Dr. Tholpady (one of the doctors who works with Dr. Havlik) greeted us and told us that everything went great! Dr. Havlik had a meeting to attend right away but would visit us later in the evening. Again, I was elated! Liam had made it out of surgery, and everything had gone as well as they hoped.

We got the call about 15 minutes later that we could go visit Liam in recovery. This was a large open room with several children coming out of surgery and 1-2 family members around them. Ryan and I were led back to Liam's hospital bed, and we had completely different reactions upon seeing out little boy. I just stared at him in amazement, as he had SURVIVED (Yes, I know that is silly given the type of procedure he had, but that was my reaction). I had these terrible thoughts plaguing me leading up to the surgery that he'd never wake up. He made it through the surgery! It wasn't until I saw Ryan's face and his reaction that I could see all of the wires, bruises, swelling, etc. all around him. Ryan was very overwhelmed with how beat up Liam looked. Then, I could finally see it, too. He did look like he had been in a car wreck or a really bad fist fight. They explained that they put a nerve block in each side of his face, which was causing the black eyes. Ryan excused himself so that my mom could come see Liam quickly before heading home. She noticed immediately how much more Liam looked like Noah, and she was right! Between the lip being closed and his swelling, he looked more like Noah than ever before. Mom said her goodbyes, and the recovery nurse ushered us to our final room where we would spend the next 16 hours.

This picture above was taken right after we got to our room after being in recovery. We LOVED our nurses during our stay. They were both so wonderful to us and were especially sweet with Liam. Ryan was very overwhelmed by the IV and other wires attached all over his body. Those were all quickly taken off once he was doing so well. Our nurse warned us that feeding would feel quite different to Liam and to expect him to be fussy when eating - that maybe he wouldn't want to eat at all. We gave him two ounces of pedialyte by bottle, and he sucked it right down. Hallelujah! Our nurse said to go ahead and try to breastfeed him, and to be honest, I was really scared. I didn't want anything to hurt him. I knew that babies didn't really use their upper lips to "suck"; rather, it was more or less a seal when nursing. Still, I just didn't want him to be in pain. Then, another prayer was answered when he latched on without any difficulty and starting eating. We estimated that within those first two hours that he took in 14 ounces of breast milk and pedialyte. Our little guy was hungry!

The next several hours went by so slowly. Liam slept, ate, cried, repeat for the next several hours. Neither Ryan nor I were prepared for the recovery part of this experience. We spent so much time preparing that we didn't give the recovery much thought. I ordered some chicken noodle soup and a grilled cheese for dinner, and Ryan grabbed some McDonalds. I spent the majority of my time holding Liam, as he seemed most comfortable being held. Plus, let's be honest, I couldn't put him down. Dr. Havlik and Dr. Tholpady came by to see us. We thanked them for helping our son and other than that, I have little memory of our conversation. Liam's behavior was so odd on the Vicodin. He just stared straight ahead, never smiled, and just seemed very much in another world. It's hard to see your baby like that when you are used to smiles all of the time. His throat was very scratchy from being intubated, too. He really sounded and looked so pitiful. I stayed awake holding Liam as still as possible until I exhaustion finally overcame me. I put him in his bed and got about an hour and a half of sleep. I fed him and held him for a couple more hours and then was able to get some more sleep.

The next morning at approximately 6:00 a.m., Dr. Havlik, Dr. Tholpady, and a med student greeted us. They said Liam did great overnight with eating and managing his pain, so we were free to go home whenever we liked. We couldn't believe the good news, and as much as we loved everyone we encountered during our time at Riley, we were very, very ready to go home!

The next four days are a blur. I didn't take any pictures. Honestly, we were really just surviving at home. Liam's pain was managed with Tylenol with Codeine, and he really needed that level of pain medication until Day 5. We tried to take him off it sooner, but he just wasn't a very happy guy. One of the most difficult parts of his early recovery was that we could not allow him to roll over in bed. It would be too risky for harming the intricate work Dr. Havlik had done to make his smile so beautiful. So, we slept with the monitor as loud as possible, and anytime he moved to turn over, Ryan was running into the nursery to turn him back on his back. That worked fairly well until we took him off the heavy pain medication. On just regular Tylenol, he was much more alert and did NOT want to sleep on his back anymore. One of us pretty much held him anytime he was awake, as he couldn't play with any of his toys and risk hurting his mouth. My mom and her husband kept Noah overnight the second night we were home, which was a huge help (Thanks again!!). However, after he came back home, Noah was the best big brother you can imagine. Every time Liam would cry when we cleaned his stitches or put bacitracin on the incision, Noah would sing to Liam, who would then immediately calm down. Love my Noah!

The Monday after Liam's surgery, we had to go back to Riley, back to Main Day Surgery, to get his finishing, outer stitches out. He was put back under anesthesia, though this time he was just "masked down" because the procedure was so quick. The night before, Liam truly did not sleep AT ALL. It was a combination of not being allowed to roll over on his tummy and being SO used to being held all of the time, I think. My mom stayed the night that night, and Ryan and I ended up leaving the house around 4:00 a.m. just so Liam would sleep in the car before the procedure. We drove around downtown Indy for literally 1 1/2 hours. It was awful! We were exhausted and so ready for all of this to be behind us. Thankfully, Liam slept the entire time in the car. Our friend Lisa who works at Riley met us in our "cubicle," and immediately our hearts were put at ease. It was almost worse the second time around being there even though this procedure was nothing compared to the one he had just had the week before. We again met the anaesthesiologist, Dr. Tholpady, Pat Terrell, and Dr. Flores the plastic surgeon doing the procedure since Dr. Havlik was taking time off for Thanksgiving. The stitches were removed quickly and after a longer wait than we would have liked, we got to see Liam in recovery. He again quickly took pedialyte without difficulty and nursed easily. They let us go home about an hour after he finished in recovery. Dr. Flores, Pat, and Dr. Tholpaddy all said he could roll over on his tummy again for sleeping but that he still had to wear the elbow restraints at all times. No pacifiers allowed still until 4 weeks post surgery. Here is a picture of Liam after the stitches were removed.

I regret, somewhat, not taking many pictures those first 5 days. His poor face was so swollen, making his nose look flat next to his cheeks. His upper lip stuck out like a duck bill. It was really heartbreaking to see him like that, though we knew it was temporary. Those days really were a blur! After the stitches were removed, he still had the nose stint in place in order to prevent his nostril from collapsing. Dr. Havlik didn't have to do any formal rhinoplasty, as his nose was quite symmetrical after moving the lip together. That was a huge blessing! We were scheduled to return to Riley December 12th to get the stint removed in the outpatient center. Funny, though, that two nights before our appointment Liam actually sneezed/coughed the stint right out of his nose while celebrating Christmas at my dad and Danette's house. It was awesome knowing it was in the right amount of time and that no one would have to hold Liam down while they snipped the stitch holding the stint in place. We still went to the appointment in order for Liam's progress to be seen.

We got to see Pat, who is an absolutely wonderful nurse! I believe she has worked with Dr. Havlik for 30 years or something like that. They make a great team!

Although this picture is not completely in focus, I adore it. Liam was just staring at Dr. Havlik while sitting so relaxed in his arms. It was a precious moment.

Here is a picture of Liam with the entire team (Dr. Tholpady in blue). We are so fortunate to have health insurance, a world renowned hospital so close by, and a very talented team of people to help Liam's smile be as beautiful as possible. However, if we are being 100% honest, I very much miss and sometimes even grieve the loss of his "old" smile. It really was beautiful. I have never been so thankful to have so many pictures of my kids to remember it. We thanked Dr. Havlik for all that he did for Liam and told him how pleased we were with the results. I remarked at what beautiful work he did. Dr. Havlik smiled and thanked us. He was so kind, and I can only imagine the pride he must feel about the work he does. He changes people's lives, and I am beyond grateful for what he's done for my son.

Thank you, God, for bringing this team of people into our lives. Thank you, God, for protecting our son. We pray for continued patience as he continues to heal even more. For those of you still reading this very lengthy post, will you please pray for a few things, as well?

1. God helps heal Liam's lip in a way that would not require any future procedures.

2. Liam experiences little pain once we can start massaging the scar tissue.

3. Liam's smile be something he loves someday, something that he feels proud to have.

4. Liam's teeth come in normally, as children with cleft lips can often have dental issues.

5. His peers are kind to him as he grows older.

6. If they are unkind about this cosmetic issue, that Liam have the courage, strength, and wit to forgive them, love them, and feel good about the way he looks anyway.

And they all said, Amen!

My Sweet Boy...

2011-11-15T22:09:00.000-05:00

My Dear Sweet Liam,

Well, we have finally reached the day I have been thinking about since the day you were born. Tomorrow afternoon we will be at one of the best children's hospitals in the country, working with one of the very best doctors to give you a smile that you will love someday. You see, to us you are perfect, beautiful in every way. If your daddy and I had it our way, we would never change anything about the way you look. You smile more than anyone we have ever known, so it seems a little silly to change one of the things we love most about you! It doesn't feel right to say that we are "fixing" or "repairing" your lip because to us, it's not broken. Your smile works perfectly, and you are truly one of the happiest little guys in the world. However, we know we can't be selfish right now. We need to think about what's best for you and how you will feel as you grow older. We imagine that you will want to have a smile like all of your friends. This is the reason why we are having your surgery tomorrow. I am thankful that you will be too young to remember and that you can grow up feeling proud of the way you look.

For the past six months, we have taken as many pictures as we can and have proudly hung pictures of you and your beautiful smile all over our house. I will cherish those pictures and these moments we've shared as long as I live. The moment I held you in my arms when you were born, I was in love. It is a mother's instinct to do everything she can to protect her child from harm, so I know tomorrow will bring its own set of challenges for me. Please know that I am praying with all of my heart and that so many others are doing the same.

I've wondered so many times why God decided to give you this special smile. Years before I had you and your brother, I always was drawn to the pictures of children from other countries who have cleft lips/palates. I think it was God's way of preparing my heart for your arrival. I know someday we will understand why, and I am excited to see where this journey leads us together as a family, as well as individually. Your daddy and I have already bought three other children smiles in your honor, and it is our hope that we can do this for at least 100 children. We are so lucky to live in a country with access to such great doctors and hospitals and that we can afford this surgery for you, so we felt led to give others the same opportunity you will have - the chance to feel proud of their smile. Will we reach our goal of 100 smiles together as a family? Will we go on mission trips to help other families across the world? Will you or Noah help children in your same situation someday? God has a reason for this, and I am so excited to find out His purpose. Your birth was a catalyst for something, possibly many things, and I cannot wait to find out what happens next.

I love you with all of my heart, and I only wish I could take the place of any fear and pain you might experience. Earlier this week, as I was preparing my mind and my heart for tomorrow, I found myself getting very sad at the thought of the nurse taking you from me to go to surgery. Then, I heard a still small voice say, "Amy, he will not be alone. I will be with him, caring for him, while he is away from you." And you know what followed? Peace. I know God will be with you the whole time because as difficult as it is for me to imagine, He actually loves you even more than I do, and I love you in a way that is impossible to describe with words. So tomorrow, when they take you, rest peacefully knowing that God is holding you and have the sweetest dreams. When you open your eyes, I will be right there, smiling at you and ready to help you in everyway possible. Be strong and know that your daddy and I love you with our whole hearts, my beautiful, beautiful son.

Love,
Mommy

Oh November...

2011-11-01T16:12:00.000-04:00

I knew it would hit me today. I've been anticipating November since soon after Liam was born, knowing that reality would really set in once the Halloween festivities ended. Up until this point, I've stayed busy focusing on the present rather than thinking about the future or reflecting on the past. Maybe that's why I stopped blogging for awhile.

We are only a couple weeks away from Liam's surgery now, and our family is officially on lockdown. The only time our family will be out and about are the days I have to work. We just don't want to risk Liam getting sick and having his surgery postponed and rescheduled. As much as I don't want to go through this, I am ready for it to be over.

As it is with most of us these days, I have never had more to do at work, and I'm trying my hardest to compartmentalize in order to keep balance in my life. Work stays at work and home stays at home. Today is the first day I'm finding it harder to do that - I think because my workload is so overwhelming and because of this impending surgery. I found myself thinking about Liam at work and thinking about work at home.

In some ways, I do feel silly getting worked up about this. I mean, in my head when keep things simple, I say things to myself like, "It's only his lip...just cosmetic. He's just having a little plastic surgery. It's not like it's heart surgery." Then, in the next second, I think to myself, "...but he's my baby. I've never had a baby whose needed surgery. He's going to be on a ventilator. I hope he isn't in too much pain." I can feel satan attacking me, too, trying to put fear and doubt in my heart like, "What if he doesn't wake up? What if when the nurse takes him from me it's the last time I see him?" It's horrible to think thoughts like that, and the only way I've been able to find peace is by praying and trusting that God loves Liam even more than I do, and he has both of our best interests at heart.

My friend Kerri sent me this verse yesterday, and I love it: "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours" (Mark 11:24).

People have been asking us a lot lately what we need and how they can help us as the big day gets closer. Honestly, we would appreciate all of your prayers when it's time for his surgery. I know everyone's prayer list is so long as it is. There are so many people in need, so many sick family members, children hurting, etc. I know it's hard to remember all of the people who need your prayers, but if you don't mind praying for our son, I would be forever grateful. We believe that "the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective" (James 5:16), so if you find it in your hearts and can remember during your own very busy lives, here are the things I am praying for as his surgery gets closer and closer.

1. Liam stays healthy between now and his surgery date.
2. Liam will make it through surgery without any complications.
3. That we feel God's presence and peace as we wait for the big day and during the surgery itself.
4. For God to guide Dr. Havlik's hands as he reconstructs Liam's lip with perfection and precision.
5. For this to be the only surgery Liam will need to give him a smile that he will love someday.

It's funny to me how Liam is well-known for always smiling, all of the time, at everyone he sees. In fact, I was having a rough day day last week, and when Liam shot me one of his famous grins, I said, "Liam, you are always good for a smile!" Ryan agreed that was the perfect way to describe our baby boy. What are the chances that a baby born with what others would consider an imperfect lip has a smile that will truly melt your heart and bring you more joy than you could ever imagine? To us, he is perfect. To us, he is beautiful. To us, we never want him to change. If it was up to us, we would never have this surgery because we love him just the way he is, but we know someday he will be so glad that we had this procedure done. Today Noah said, "Mommy, can't we just keep it (Liam's lip) like this? I like it like this." Me, too, buddy. Me, too.

A Dry Spell

2011-11-01T15:10:00.000-04:00

I don't know if that's the right way to describe my lack of blogging, but I just couldn't bring myself to write about anything, partly because we have two children under 3 and were remodeling the kitchen. The other part was due to just not feeling like writing about much of anything. Poor Liam and Noah - they won't have any details from August 22nd to now.

Well boys, I can sum up the past couple of months in a 2 words: blissfully busy! We have never been so busy in our lives as we have this past month, but at the same time, I have never felt happier. I find myself hurrying from one activity to the next - driving too fast most of the time. I slow down only for those perfect moments with Ryan, Noah, and Liam - the ones where you stand back and ask yourself, "Could I really be this lucky?" Here is a photo montage of the past two months:

Plow Days in South Whitley to help raise money for a friend's daughter. Please add sweet Rylie, who is fighting Severe Combined Immunodeficiency, to your prayer list.

Noah riding his first pony. It was awesome to see so many people come together for this great event to help Rylie!

One of my best friends, Jess, and my God Daughter, Kendall, came for a visit! We went to Apple Works one day and had a wonderful time.

I couldn't decide which to post...

...so I thought I would just add them both. Posing for beautiful pictures kept us busy.

Noah went hiking twice in Brown County with Ryan. I'm not sure if Noah has ever had more fun!

Oh wait, except when he's riding his bike. He spent HOURS riding bikes the past two months.

And while Noah rode his bike, Liam and I just watched, laughed, and snuggled.

We made it to the Franklin Fall Festival again this year and had a great time! This is the three of us at the courthouse.

Here's Noah riding his first-ever carnival ride. He tried an obstacle course/house thing but got a little scared and had to turn around.

We took lots of goofy pictures!

...because that's an easy way to entertain ~~my husband~~ the kids.

We took our first family trip to Evansville with Ryan for work and got to visit my cousin, Angie, and her kids, Bradyn, Jude, Grace, and Lila (not pictured). When Ryan asked Noah if he wanted to go to Evansville, Noah said, "Oh Daddy, thank you so much for inviting me to Evansville!" You would've thought we were taking him to Disney World.

Gluttony: The only word to describe the amount of food we consumed from Biaggi's, my favorite Italian restaurant.

Noah taking his typical "I'm-not-going-to-smile-for-you" picture. I promise, he was having a good time!

Liam tried rice cereal for the first time. The much anticipated event was met by pure dislike by my baby boy. Let's hope he likes fruits and veggies better because I have made a bunch, and we're just waiting for Sunday to start giving them to him.

That was a quick run down of the major events and some of my favorite pictures from the past two months. The only thing I left out was our big kitchen remodel, and I'm saving that for the big reveal. We get our countertops November 19th, so I'll post pictures then.

I love my life, as busy and hurried as it may seem most of the time, I am enjoying the moments when we can slow down and just laugh together. We live for those moments and cherish them with all that we have.

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

2011-08-22T17:21:00.000-04:00

Today has been just that - a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I feel like I'm failing. I really do try to give my best everyday to all situations and in all relationships, but I totally fall short.

I need to pull weeds, clean windows, power wash the house, put away laundry, cook dinner, take inventory of my deep freezer, get Liam's toys/jumperoo out of the attic, wash fingerprints off walls and doors, deep clean parts of the house, throw out my failure-of-a-garden (due to lack of watering during the hottest summer ever!), wash and vacuum my car, purchase dozens more prizes for work, create a menu for the week, re-caulk in our master bathroom, make a decision about repainting in more neutral colors, organize my clothes in the closet, take clothes to the dry cleaner, write 3 thank you notes, sell a bassinet, file important documents, trim bushes/cut down lilies, work 2 1/2 days a week, water our yard, feed Liam 6-7 times a day, play with Noah, spend time with my husband, keep up on social contacts, stay in touch with family, read the Bible daily, work on my small group's character study (I'm working on - you guessed it - patience), buy gifts for upcoming celebrations, pick up heartworm medicine for Kya...the list goes on and on.

Don't think for a second that I am delusional enough to think that your list isn't just as long as mine. I know it is. I know you feel buried underneath it sometimes, too. It totally stinks! Sometimes I feel like I'm balancing my work and play really well, and other times, I'm drowning in one or the other. I hate feeling this way. Most of all, though, is hating feeling like a bad mom or wife. The guilt that I can feel in those two relationships is unbearable. It makes my never ending to do list seem so much more overwhelming.

Going back to work has been a difficult transition, and to be honest, it probably always is. I just don't remember it being that difficult because it only happens once a year. I will be glad when we are in our routine again, and my life feels balanced because for now, it's just a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Patience

2011-08-21T15:34:00.000-04:00

My mind is constantly on the move these days, dreaming of the future while trying to stay engaged in the present. It all began so innocently, just like most things often do. I was browsing through open house ads in the Sunday paper when low and behold, a beautiful house caught my eye. I raced upstairs, showed the picture to Ryan, and after taking one look at the smile on my face and the light in my eyes, he said, "Well, let's go!" We loaded up the kids and were out the door lickety split.

After pulling into the housing addition, I realized that this was the neighborhood that had a model home I had seen many months prior. Everytime we drove by I would tell Ryan how that was the kind of house I hoped to live in someday. It was just my style! We drove back to the open house, and Noah proved to be more excited than any of us. He rushed around each room, pointing out the unique features and playing in all of the closets. The second floor was perfect, but we felt like the main floor was lacking space. It was fun to look, nonetheless, and we got back in the car to drive home.

Then it happened.

My husband gave me the greatest gift any man can give his wife. He gave me permission to dream.

For any of you who know me, I'm a pretty grounded, organized, and practical person who lives on a schedule and always has a plan. Not only was this the way I was raised, but I've also happily embraced these qualities as an adult. We always planned to live in our current home for 5-7 years before buying our forever home. You know, the one our kids would grow up...have their friends over to stay the night...come home from college during holiday breaks. Well, as of this summer, we will have lived here for 5 years. Our dream home has a basement, 3 side car garage, beautiful kitchen, upstairs laundry room (have one now and wouldn't want to go back), and a larger back yard.

Well, as we were leaving the neighborhood, Ryan told me to go grab a packet of information to see what floorplans they were building. I mean, why not? We're just dreaming...right? The next few days consisted of me studying each floorplan and trying to decide which one contained all of our non-negotiables and which one would make the most sense for our family. Then I started crunching numbers and considering our timeline. I went back and forth between wanting to stay grounded and wanting ever-so-badly to dream. It was never our plan to build a home. Why build when so many existing homes are on the market? Then it hit me. We could build exactly what we wanted without settling for anything. So often we see a house and say, "Well, I like the yard but hate the kitchen," or "The laundry room is upstairs, but there is no basement." Building a home would allow us to have exactly what we wanted, and the idea of that was so exciting!

Since that time, we have visited several models and have fallen in love with a particular floorplan. I've researched and researched, read every available resource I can find regarding the company, the vendors, the process of building, etc. You name it, and I can tell you about it. Ryan has been so supportive of this new dream we share. In fact, he even went with me to a design center where you pick our your flooring, exterior, light fixtures, cabinets, countertops, etc. We had so much fun picking out everything. Dreaming is exciting!

Ever since this journey began in June, that word has been ringing in my ears.

Patience.

We have two summers before Noah starts kindergarten and would love to be settled in our forever home before that milestone begins. Whether or not it ends up being this home, only God knows. For now, we are starting to make preparations for possibly putting our house on the market in the Spring. We are praying a lot. But most of all, we are being patient.

God is All Around Us

2011-08-09T21:58:00.000-04:00

Over the past four months, I have felt the presence of God all around me like never before. It has been beautiful, breathtaking, and oftentimes, an emotional experience to feel Him near us and near those around us. Sometimes God shows Himself when you least expect it, and at other times, He presents Himself after fervent prayer.

God presented Himself in the shape of a little 3 year old boy named Noah yesterday evening. I was getting ready to have dinner with some girlfriends and found myself in tears leaving Liam. I have cherished the last 14 weeks at home with him, and I am so sad to leave him despite being excited to get back to work part time. I said goodbye to Noah a few minutes prior and was collecting myself before walking out the door. All of the sudden, Noah yelled out from the living room and ran to me saying, "I'm going to give you a bug hug and kiss." He did just that, and I knew right away that God was using the arms and lips of my sweet son to tell that He was right there and that everything would be ok.

Late last night, my mind was swimming again with thoughts and worries about both boys when I go back to work. I felt so much tension in my neck and head, and without saying a word, Ryan started giving me a massage that melted all that tension away. Again, I felt God saying, "I'm right here. Your boys are going to be fine. I love them more than you can ever know. Remember, I am their Father." God again used the hands of someone I love to show His presence.

For people who believe in God, reading these simple examples will affirm their feelings about our loving God. They also experience simple acts of love and reassurance from an awesome God that nonbelievers would see as coincidence. It makes me sad to know when people I love don't have a relationship with God because they miss out on seeing God's blessings around them. They might be thankful for their job, house, kids, etc., but they don't see God's hand in them having those things. He truly is all around us, if you just take a moment to look and see.

Like so many people, I always find myself falling asleep while praying at night. I was talking about that with some people, and one person said, "Well, just like a mother loves having her baby fall asleep in her arms, I imagine God feels the same about us falling asleep in His." I have found that to be one of the most profound things I've ever heard. I just love it.

So, do you see God in the simple things around you? I would love to hear some of your own experiences. I could write a million more but have written this blog one-handed while Liam is sleeping in my arms. It was "shot day," so he gets extra snuggles, just like God holds me extra tight when I'm not feeling well. I love our God and pray that all of you know Him, too.

Goodnight...

Freezer Meal Fun

2011-08-08T14:21:00.000-04:00

My friend, Dalia, is getting ready to have a baby soon, and when I asked her what I could do to help her get things ready, she said that she wanted to make a bunch of freezer meals. I had been putting off making meals in preparation of going back to work, so it was just the motivation I needed to get things in gear. First, I made a list of all the possible meals I would want to make:

Lasagna

Baked Spaghetti
Sloppy Joes
Enchiladas
Chicken Pot Pie
Beef Stroganoff
Chicken Tortilla Soup
Chicken Parisienne (white wine, mushrooms, cream of mushroom, sour cream, etc.)
Honey Pork Chops
Homemade Pizzas
Pizza Pies
Manicotti
Chicken Tetrazinni
Spaghetti Carbonara (bacon, peas, heavy cream, parm cheese, parsley, pepper)
Baked Blueberry French Toast
Farmer's Casserole (breakfast casserole)
Pulled Pork
Baked Penne with Ham, Peas, and Jack Cheese
Ham, Mushroom, and Egg Noodle casserole

I emailed Dalia the list, and she chose five meals to make (fyi - because you always let a pregnant woman chose what to eat - it's a courtesy!):

Enchiladas
Sloppy Joes
Beef Stroganoff
Spaghetti Carbonara
Baked Penne with Ham, Monterrey Jack, and Peas

Ryan picked up some foil containers with lids from my friend, Beckie, who bought them from this website. For $132, she was able to purchase 500 pans (approximately 26 cents per pan). They are big enough for 4 servings and stack perfectly in your freezer because organization is key! I made out my list of ingredients for all five recipes, marking out what I already had in my pantry and refrigerator. Dalia sent me her list, and off to the grocery store I went.

Dalia came over around 7:00 p.m. a couple Saturdays ago, and after eating some Jimmy Johns (YUM!!), we were zooming all over my kitchen. Since Dalia is on moderate bedrest, she took the job of slicing and dicing vegetables and meat, while I worked on preparing the dishes. We started with the beef stroganoff because it is one of the more involved recipes. Sloppy Joes were a great second dish because they are super easy and quick! Next we worked on the Chicken Enchiladas since they are more involved, too. The penne pasta was the last dish we made that evening, and it was super easy and quick. By the time we had all the dishes washed (thanks, Dalia!) and put away, it was 1:00 a.m. I made the spaghetti carbonara the next day in about an hour. It was very easy!

By the end of the cooking-freezer-meal-marathaon, we had 26 meals and split them between the two of us!!

5 pans of Enchiladas
3 pans of Sloppy Joes
6 pans of Beef Stroganoff
6 pans of Spaghetti Carbonara
6 pans of Baked Penne with Ham, Monterrey Jack, and Peas

We did 5 hours of cooking the first night, and then I did the additional hour the second day. So, six hours of hard work for 26 meals. Not bad!

A couple things to consider when making meals. First, you have to cook meals that will actually fit inside your cookware. For example, I used a skillet and my largest pan for my stove. Those two items allowed us to double each recipe we were making (with the exception of sloppy joes b/c they take up very little room. You could duplicate this recipes several times). Second, we could have saved lots of time had we been a little more prepared. For example, if we would have written down exactly how much onion we needed TOTAL rather than cutting it per recipe, that would have saved some prep time. Same goes for the meat. Had we cut that up prior to getting together, that would have saved us considerable amount of time.

I would LOVE to have bi-monthly freezer meal preparation days with a bunch of girlfriends at once. The tricky part would be having enough space to cook, as well as space in your cookware. For my kitchen and cookware, two people is probably the limit. If we had another skillet, there is a good chance we could've made enough to triple each recipe.

One idea, if you are interested in making freezer meals, is to find 5 other friends who want to be part of a freezer meal group. Each person chooses 1 recipe and makes enough for 6 families (one for each friend and one to keep for yourself). Then, you trade meals, which allows you to acquire 5 new meals to add to the one meal you made yourself. Make sense? I did this with some girlfriends a couple years ago, and it worked out great! The tricky part for me now is that I buy my meat in bulk (quarter cow, half hog, bulk whole chickens and chicken breast), and this meat doesn't contain hormones, antibiotics, etc. I spend a little more to have this kind of meat, but it's totally worth it! If you question that, just watch Food, Inc. It will change your life. Anyway, to participate in a freezer meal group with friends, we would all need to be cooking with the same meat or it would defeat the purpose of us buying it. So, for now, I just continue to make meals on my own, and that works just fine. It just takes a little more self-motivation because I don't have anyone waiting for a meal from me. I think I will order some foil pans of my own soon, and this time, I might get the 6 cup serving pans. You get 250 pans for $115 (46 cents a pan), which would give us some for leftovers. We'll see, though! If anyone is interested in ordering this size and wants to split the cost $23 for 50 6-cup pans or $26.40 for 100 4-cup pans (if four other people are interested), let me know!

Also, let me know if you have any questions or want any recipes! Cooking ahead like this will save you so much time and energy on nights where you just don't feel like cooking anything. I love it!

Bike Ridin' Fool

2011-07-31T19:26:00.001-04:00

It's official - Noah has become a bike ridin' fool, just in time for the heat wave of 2011! On Saturday, July 17th, Ryan and I found ourselves doing what most married people with children our age are doing on a Saturday night. Yep, we were grocery shopping! WOO-HOO! I can see how you are all turning green with envy. Anyway, while Liam hung out with me in his Baby Bjorn carrier, Ryan took Noah to the bike section at Meijer to see how well he could ride a bike. About 15 minutes later, they returned, and Noah sat down on the floor, putting his head down in defeat (yep, we were that family!). Apparently, he had a really hard time maneuvering the pedals, so Ryan decided he was still too young to get a bike.

After we got home that night, Ryan began looking on Craigslist for a bike for Noah, just in case he found a good deal. Turns out that a guy in Fishers was selling his son's bike for $25 because it was too small for him. Ryan drove to Fishers the following Monday and realized that the bike was practically brand new. He bought the bike and grabbed a Lightning McQueen helmet and bell at Target. When Noah woke up from his nap that day, Ryan had the bike waiting for him in the kitchen. At first, Noah really didn't want to put on the helmet, let alone snap the fastener together. We told him that if he wanted to ride his new bike, he had to wear his helmet. Reluctantly, he put it on, and before we knew it, Noah was FLYING around the kitchen. Round and around and around he went for the rest of the night. When he woke up the next morning, the first words out of his mouth were, "May I ride my bike?" The timing was perfect for such a fun gift because it was at that time that we began dealing with the heat wave of 2011. My goodness! 95-100 degree weather is just TOO much for all of us, especially Liam.

From that morning on for several days, Noah wore his helmet at all times of the day except to take a nap or go to bed. He even wore it during potty breaks! When he woke up from his nap at 3:30, he rode it for 2 hours straight - I'm not even kidding! Round and around and around he went. He continued to ride each day and into the next week. Whenever there was a slight dip in temperature, Ryan would take him outside to ride his new bike. Then, a couple Saturdays ago, we took Noah to Northwest Park thanks to the recommendation of my friend, Jill, who had recently taken her little boy there to ride. It was the perfect trail! Once again, Liam found himself in the Baby Bjorn carrier, and we walked the trail 3 times. Noah did great and only fell off once! Since that time, he has discovered standing up while pedaling, coasting down hills (or as Noah says, "coastering"), and braking hard when going too fast.

It's like he grew up overnight. My once chubby cheeked, unsteady-walking, toddler is now a little boy in the making. I get flashes of what I imagine he'll look like in the future. It makes me shake my head. Where has the time gone? While Noah can test boundaries and my patience, he is a beautifully sweet, compassionate, joyful little boy....and a bike ridin' fool.

Cost to Have a Baby

2011-07-27T15:57:00.001-04:00

Let me start out by saying how amazed I am by the cost to have a baby, completely natural and without complications (Click for Liam's birth story)! Back in August 2008, I wrote about how much we were charged for Noah's birth. Surprisingly, the charges were more when we had Noah than having Liam. I really thought everything would be more expensive three years later, but for some reason, Liam's birth cost less. Because I am working part time now, my short term disability check was about $1,000 less than last time. So, in the end, we did have to pay money out of pocket whereas with Noah's birth, it was completely covered by our short term disability check. You can see the breakdown of Liam's birth below.

Amy’s Hospital Charges:

Room and Board (36 hours): $1,332.25

Labor and Delivery Services: $5,590.00 (BLOWS MY MIND!)
Laboratory Services: $575.75
Pharmacy Services: $168.60
TOTAL CHARGES: $ 7666.60 After Insurance: $1,508.03

Liam’s Hospital Charges:
Newborn care for 2 days at the hospital: $865.00
Operating Room: $371.50 (used for a short time for his circumcision)
Laboratory Services: $839.75
Pharmacy Services: $132.00
Therapy Services: $102.50
TOTAL CHARGES: $ 2,310.75 After Insurance: $462.15

Initial Hospital Evaluation/Management of Newborn: $292.00
Discharge Day Management (30 minutes maximum): $216.00
After Insurance: $64.96

Liam Circumcision: $400
After Insurance: $45.86

OB Care and Delivery: $2,300
After Insurance: $440.00

GRAND TOTAL: $13,185.35 (Noah's was $14,028.39)

AFTER INSURANCE, WE OWED: $2,521.00 (Noah's was $1,930.60)

SHORT TERM DISABILITY CHECK: $1,300 (Noah's was $2,216.67)

OUT OF POCKET EXPENSES: $1,221 (We pocketed $286.07 with Noah's birth)

I am so thankful that we have insurance! If it costs $13,000-$14,000 to have a natural birth now, how much will it cost for Noah and Liam to have kids someday! I think the hospital charges were like $2,000 when I was born. I can't even imagine!

Thinking...

2011-07-24T19:21:00.001-04:00

This break from work has been so wonderful! I've been home for 11 weeks and 3 days, and in a few more weeks, I'll be returning to my job as a school psychologist for my 4th year, post internship. I love my job and am very grateful for my part time position. It gives me such perfect balance between my work life and my home life. I have enjoyed so many adventures this summer with Ryan and our boys, which makes me so excited to see what next summer holds. Will we sell our house? Will we move somewhere new? Noah will turn 4, and Liam will celebrate his first birthday. Will they be good buddies? What new exciting adventures will we take? Vacation with Ryan's family to Hilton Head is on the list. I can hardly wait! Time will tell what the future holds. I can't wait to find out what happens next, and at the same time, I don't want time to go too fast. I don't want the boys to grow up too quickly, you know? One thing is for sure - I trust the Lord to help us open the right doors and close the wrong ones. It's the only thing any of us can count on when looking toward the future!

A Few of My Favorite Things...to Eat

2011-07-22T12:32:00.000-04:00

So I recently wrote about how much easier my life has become since adopting a new way of meal planning. It continues to work really well for our family, and I am trying lots of new recipes, as well as making some of my old favorites. I know in the past we have quickly gotten into a rut with our meals, and since some of you might be feeling the same way, I wanted to post some of my favorite recipes - both old and new.

Dalia's Pot Roast
1 packet Lipton Onion Soup
1 cup A1 sauce
3 lb. Chuck Roast
Baby Carrots
Potatoes
Olive Oil
1/8 cup water
pepper

1. Add olive oil to a large pan and heat on medium high. Sear both sides of roast in pan and remove.
2. Add water to the bottom of a crock pot
3. Add chuck roast to crock pot. Place onion soup mix to the top of the roast, as well as A1 and some pepper.
4. Cook in crock pot for 3 hours. Add veggies (we left out onion, but feel free to use it!), and cook for an additional 3 hours.

This is easily my favorite pot roast ever! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Gloria's Sloppy Joes
1 lb. Hamburger
1 small onion, chopped
1/4 tsp celery salt
2 heapting Tablespoons of brown sugar (we even use a little more than that)
1/3-1/2 bottle of ketchup
1 tsp worcestershire sauce
2 tsp prepared mustard
salt and pepper

1. Brown hamburger, onion, and celery salt
2. Drain off excess fat
3. Reduce heat to simmer
4. Add brown sugar, ketchup, mustard, worcestershire sauce, salt, and pepper. Stir.
5. Simmer together, stirring occasionally, for 20 minutes.

This is a great recipe to make in bulk and freeze in portions for future use!

Sausage and Egg Casserole (a great addition to breakfast for dinner night!)
1 lb. ground pork sausage
6 eggs
2 cups milk (I used 2%)
1 tsp salt
1 tsp ground mustard
6 slices white bread
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (I used mild)

1. In a skillet, brown and crumble sausage; drain and set aside. In a large bowl, beat eggs; add milk, salt and mustard. Stir in bread cubes, cheese and sausage. Pour into a greased 11-in. x 7-in. x 2-in. baking dish. Cover and refrigerate for 8 hours or overnight. Remove from the refrigerator 30 minutes before baking. Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees F for 40 minutes or until a knife inserted near the center comes out clean.

I LOVE this recipe!! I have been eating leftovers everyday for breakfast. I found it very convenient for making breakfast burritos when on the run, too.

Honey Barbequed Spare Ribs

3 lbs. pork spare ribs
3 T lemon juice
2 T honey
2 T vegetable oil
1 T soy sauce
1 T minced onion
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp dried oregano
1/8 tsp garlic powder

1. Cut spare ribs into serving-size pieces. Place ribs, bone side down, on a rack in a shallow roasting pan. Cover and roast at 350 degrees F for 1 hour. Drain. Combine all the remaining ingredients in a bowl; brush some of glaze on ribs. Roast, uncovered, 30-45 minutes longer or until meat is tender, brushing occasionally with remaining glaze.

What I really liked about these ribs is that they were heavily doused with BBQ sauce. I do like BBQ ribs, but these had more of a light, Asian flavor due to the soy sauce, honey, and lemon. They were DELICIOUS!

Chicken Tetrazinni
2 cups spaghetti, cooked and drained
2 cups diced chicken, cooked
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1/2 cup onion, chopped
1/4 cup red pepper
1/4 cup yellow pepper
1 cup chicken broth
1 1/2 cups cheddar cheese, grated

Saute onions and peppers in oil
Arrange all ingrediants in a baking dish
Bake on 350 for 20-30 minutes

This is one of my all-time favorite pasta dishes! It's colorful, cheesy, and full of flavor!

Feel free to share any of your favorite recipes in the comments. I am always wanting to try new things!!

Liam's Version of a Conversation

2011-07-13T09:41:00.000-04:00

Making Life Easier

2011-07-11T16:48:00.001-04:00

I love my family beyond anything I ever could have imagined! I mean, can you blame me? Look how cute they are!

We like to do lots of fun things together like....

...go to the Strawberry Festival and eat delicious ribeye steak sandwiches and corn on the cob!

...go to PBS Kids at the Park downtown to meet Wyatt from Super Why!

...make silly faces!

...make cheeser faces!

...go to Vacation Bible School with grandparents and swim in their pool!

...snuggle with each other!

...go to Poison/Motley Crue concerts!

Natalie, Lila, Jude, Daisy, Dominic, and Liam

...and go to my parents 4th of July party and introduce the 6 newest cousins to each other!

With that said, I am always trying to find ways to make the "must do" things more efficient in order to have more time to enjoy the "want to do" things! Here is my latest and greatest idea that has literally changed my life.

Everyday, I found myself asking the question, "What should we eat for dinner?" My mind would quickly become overwhelmed with the million items in my freezer, fridge, and pantry, as well as all the options of things to make. Did I have the right ingrediants? How much time do I have to actually cook? I know a lot of people have found success with a weekly menu, but I still felt overwhelmed by making a plan like that for the week. There are just too many options! I asked myself how we could have a plan while still not being overwhelmed by the options.

I had a HUGE aha moment a few weeks ago. I decided the best way to approach our meals is to have each night have a different theme. Here are our themes:

Sunday: Meat and veggie

Monday: Breakfast for dinner

Tuesday: Meat and veggie

Wednesday: Pasta night

Thursday: Sandwich, salad, soup, or wrap night

Friday: Go out to eat/leftovers

Saturday: Go out to eat/leftovers

I have stuck to this plan for three weeks, and it has made choosing dinner SO much easier! We still have a lot of variety in our meals - more than we've ever had. I just have to look at what I have around the house and/or grab a few things at the store to have everything I need. Everyone asks me, "What about Mexican night?" We aren't huge Mexican food people, but it would be easy to incorporate that into your meal planning. I love that when I ask myself, "What should we have for dinner?" all I have to do is remember what day of the week it is and think of meals related to that theme. It's MUCH easier for me to plan that way!

Now I have much more time to do all the fun things we try to squeeze into a day with Ryan and the boys!

Carpet Cleaning

2011-07-08T14:38:00.001-04:00

I meant to write about this sooner, but we had our carpets cleaned in April, just a few weeks before Liam was born. The guy who did it was recommended by some friends who have worked with him in the past. They said he was really reasonable in price and did an awesome job! Well, I can attest to both of those things. Randy cleaned our carpets in 6 rooms, a stairway, and a hallway for only $130 and did a fabulous job! Here is his website and contact information:

Randy Carter 317-538-0020
http://ecocarpetcleaningllc.com/

Here is some information from his website:

Today, there are industrial carpet cleaning chemicals that are widely believed to be toxic. And this is why we offer natural and organic carpet cleaning methods. This is great news for those with allergies or asthma. Our carpet cleaning solutions are 100% biodegradable and are plant & vegetable based; they naturally deodorize your carpets. As a family owned company, we understand that you want to protect your family, and we promise never to use any carpet cleaning substance in your home that we wouldn't use in ours.

Clean carpets at a good price without toxins - who doesn't want that?!

My Blue Eyed Boys

2011-07-07T17:31:00.000-04:00

No matter what life throws at me, I have these two beautiful boys who bring me more joy than I can describe! When I think about things from that perspective, all life's worries wash away...

I love you boys! - Mommy

Fireworks - Part 2

2011-07-07T08:07:00.000-04:00

Well, I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first? Let's start with the good. The good news is that an opportunity did present itself last night to talk to my neighbors AND my kids (and my friend's little boy) got to sleep without being scared or woken up by fireworks. The bad news is that it happened after two mortars (I learned that's what they are called and are similar to a stick of dynamite - they are strickly created to make a huge BOOM sound rather than to have bright lights) went off, and I completely and totally lost my temper. It was horrible.

My friend Sara was putting her nearly 2 year old son, Nash, to bed when I heard the second mortar go off, and I grabbed Liam and Noah - who mind you, was only wearing a shirt because he had just gone to the bathroom. I almost dragged him out of the house without wearing pants or underwear, which should have told me that I crossed the crazy line, but it didn't stop me. I threw some shorts on him, and we were out the door. I couldn't leave them behind because Ryan wasn't home, and I couldn't have Sara dealing with 3 kids under 3 years old on her own. So, out the door we went.

As I walked closer to their house, I noticed that there were at least 4-5 people hanging out in their driveway. Awesome. A scene...just what I was hoping to create (note sarcasm). I started out screaming and pleading with my friend to stop because I couldn't take it anymore. Then, her husband came out front and told me that if he'd talk to me but only if I'd calmed down. YIKES, I had really crossed the temper line. I looked down to see their 6 year old daughter looking scared with tears in her eyes, and my heart broke. I apologized to her for yelling at her mommy and daddy and told her that I felt embarrassed to act that way in front of her. I explained that I was really upset because my kids were scared and crying from their fireworks but that I shouldn't have lost my temper. No matter how angry I felt, I definitely didn't want to upset their daughter. Like I said, they have great kids!

I told the husband that maybe we should go talk in my yard to get away from all the people watching. One guy started yelling some really hurtful things about Ryan and me, which was total icing on the cake, and saying that I was really responsible for bringing my kids with me outside. Trust me, I didn't want to bring them, but it wasn't really an option to have my 3 year old babysit my 8 week old baby. Regardless, we walked away from everyone and started talking more calmly. The guy shared that he has really tried to be respectful of our feelings by not sending them off on the 4th of July. I told him that I'd rather he have one day like that where he goes crazy with fireworks and mortars than a couple here and more there and another batch there. I can get my kids through one night of that. He also shared that they were trying to set them off earlier in the night so that it didn't wake up the kids. His intentions were good, but 8:00-8:30 is the time when we are putting Noah to bed, so it turns into a huge event. Last, he was setting them off down the street from us so that they didn't go right over our roof. Again, super considerate that he was trying to find a compromise. Unfortunately, they still shook my windows and terrified my kids.

Then, as we were talking, another guy about my age walked up and said, "Hey, do you guys know who is setting off fireworks? They keep waking up my 10 month old daughter." At that moment, I felt like God was saying, "Amy, I know you're by yourself with your two kids, but I'm right here. You are not alone." The guy was super nice and explained that he, too, didn't mind some fireworks, but the mortars were shaking his windows and scaring his kid. My neighbor explained that he wasn't trying to hurt my kids or disrespect us. He had been trying to find a way to compromise. I shared that Ryan talked to a realtor, who happens to be the mother of one of his best friends (she helped us purchase our house) that day to find out what we needed to do to sell our home. We just couldn't live like this anymore. I told them that we really care about their family, and it really hurt us that we've been dealing with the issue for three years. He said that they would hold off on the fireworks until the last day in July when they have family coming into town. That night they would be setting them off. He said he would leave us a note with the date and times. I really appreciate that effort because we can plan ahead. It's still not ideal to have them going off, but I'll take it over what we've had in the past. I apologized to my friend several times for yelling at her like that, especially in front of her daughter, which of course made me cry. She kept reassuring me not to worry about it and that it was ok. All I wanted was for them to stop hurting my kids, even though that was obviously not their intention. Bleh...what an ordeal!

I really went back and forth about writing today. I just wanted to follow up to put closure to the situation. Hopefully that will be the last time we have to deal with the issue. The last thing I want is conflict with our neighbors. Like I said, they are really nice people. We just have a major conflict of interest when it comes to their fireworks. Hopefully we can move forward without dealing with this issue ever again. Fingers crossed...

Fireworks Suck

2011-07-06T10:21:00.001-04:00

Forgive me because this isn't going to be a typical post filled with fun stories or cute pictures of my kids. No, today I am feeling a good mix of sadness, disappointment, disrespect, and fury. This issue has been brewing for three years, and despite our best efforts, we're dealing with the same problem still today.

Every year as summer draws near, I begin to get excited for sunshine, time at the park, swimming at the pool, and extra time with friends and family. Then, very quickly, I remember that it is also firework season. Yes, I use the word season because three years ago, our neighbors began setting off fireworks during the weeks preceding Independence Day, on the actual holiday, and then again after the holiday has ended. Mind you, we live in a residential community not in the middle of farm land with lots of acreage.

The first year, Noah was an infant, and for anyone who is a parent, you can understand the fury you feel when your baby is finally fast asleep only to be woken up crying by fireworks. Oh and by fireworks I don't mean the ones that make a little noise or even the ones that just crack in the sky when you shoot them off. I'm talking about the ones that make a HUGE LOUD BOOM launching off the ground and then sound like a freaking bomb went off over your house. I'm talking about the ones that make my whole body jump when they launch into the air and then just completely infuriate me when they explode.

Of course I'm worried about one hitting my house and setting it on fire. I fear that one will hit Noah's bedroom and explode. I know the chance is probably not huge, but the fear is there. However, what really hurts the most is how scared Noah gets when they explode over his room. He and Liam were both crying last night, and I was furious! I'm not sure there is anything else in the world that can hurt/upset parents like someone else hurting their kids.

You're probably wondering if we've ever approached our neighbors, and the answer is yes. The first time was three years ago after they had been going off all night and were still going off at 1:30 a.m. Yet another firework woke me up, and I couldn't take it anymore. I walked down and asked them to please stop, and they did. Each summer since, we have talked to them about how it wakes up Noah, but it continues to be a problem. Now this summer, Ryan has tried to talk with them, and even Noah has told them how it hurts his ears and scares him. Can you imagine a 3 year old telling you that what you're doing scares him and still doing it anyway? I can't. Each time we talk to them, they are very nice, apologize, and stop. However, for whatever reason, they continue to set off bombs over our house. This year on Independence Day, we were expecting the mother load. And you know what? That would have been at least understandable. I can handle one day of fireworks where my kid has to be up late because he can't sleep and is scared. It would suck, but at least it would be one day. I can plan ahead for that and have a movie ready or something. BUT - when it's weeks before the holiday and still after the 4th, it has gone too far. It's inconsiderate and hurtful. They're scaring my EIGHT WEEK old baby and my THREE year old son. My kids are crying, and I am furious!

I have never felt so disrespected in my adult life. I don't think anyone has slapped me in the face like this in years. If someone told me that something I did was hurting them and heaven forbid, hurting their kids, I can't imagine doing it anyway without caring. The real kicker is that we are friends with these people. Ryan has taken the guy to a Colt's game, and I get along well with his wife. They have great kids...sweet kids. It would make more sense if we didn't get along. I'm left feeling confused, sad, and really angry.

I'm praying for the opportunity to talk with them and let them know how hurt I am and how disrespected I feel. My window to have that conversation is very small until tomorrow night. My friend, Sara, and her nearly 2 year old son are visiting overnight. If they set them off tonight, I can't imagine how angry I'm going to be. Pray for my kids that they get to sleep tonight without being scared and woken up, and pray that when the opportunity presents itself that I can share how I feel without losing my temper. I just want to say, "I hope it was worth it...every year making my kid(s) cry and waking them up. I hope fireworks are worth infuriating your neighbors. I hope the bright colors and huge BOOMS make giving up a good relationship with friends worth it." To me, nothing would be worth it.

Must. Have. Sleep. - Part 2

2011-07-01T22:16:00.001-04:00

So apparently all I needed to do to get Liam to sleep all night was blog about it! That night he went 8 hours between feedings, giving me 7 full hours of consecutive sleep. I ran into his room feeling rested and rejuvenated and kissed him a hundred times while saying "thank you, thank you, thank you" over and over again. The only thing I did differently that day was make sure I drank a full glass of water between each feeding. I'm not sure if that is what made the difference, but either way, I'm continuing to drink water to that degree. The only other "method" we use is Babywise's recommendation to follow an eat, awake, sleep routine. When Liam first wakes up, I feed him right away. Then, he has awake time for an additional 30-60 minutes. Once he starts fussing, I know he is tired, so I put him down for a nap. He will sleep anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half. I never let more than 3 hours pass by between feedings in order to make sure he's eating a lot during the day so that he won't need to wake up at night to eat.

Like I said in my last post, something like 96% of boys who follow this routine start sleeping all night between 7-9 weeks old. Tuesday night he went 9 hours between feedings, which meant 8 hours of sleep for me! I was dancing with excitement that morning! Wednesday night, he went 7 hours between feedings, and I got several things accomplished between 5:45 and 8:00 a.m. while the boys finished sleeping. For the first time, I understood why so many parents get up really early. You have some quiet time and can be productive if you'd ilke without several interruptions! Thursday night, Liam went 8 hours between feedings, which again meant 7 hours of sleep or me. I am hopeful that this might be our new pattern but realize that we will have our "off" nights.

Of course, I know I'm doing everything I can to help Liam sleep at night, but really God gets all the credit! He's the one who answered my prayers. Along with my own prayers, I know my friend Dalia, my mother-in-law, and Jennie Byers (an awesome woman from our church!)...maybe even others...were also praying with me. The Bible says that "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective" (James 5:16), and I know that God heard the prayers of these righteous women. Thank you!!

Liam, I want to thank you for being such a good sleeper! I know I can be an even better mommy to you now that I am better rested. I love seeing you grow and cannot wait to get to know you more and more as the days, the weeks, the months, and the years go by. I love you!!!

Must. Have. Sleep.

2011-06-27T15:57:00.000-04:00

Well, we are 7 1/2 weeks into living as a family of four, and as thankful as I am to have a new, sweet baby boy, I am very ready for a full night of sleep! When we first brought Liam home from the hospital, he quickly adjusted to a 2 1/2 to 3 hour feeding schedule during the day, and a 3-4 hour feeding schedule at night. I was waking up around 2 a.m. and 5 a.m. to feed him; however, Liam quickly moved to wanting to eat only once in the middle of the night, typically around 4:15-4:30 a.m., which was 6 hours after his last feeding. I was very excited and thankful for the extra sleep! Then, we hit his 6 week growth spurt, and he was eating every 2 hours for a few days. I was hopeful that after the growth spurt ended that we would move back to going 6 hours between feedings at night. Instead, Liam has been pretty inconsistent. He eats around 10:30 p.m. and has woken up anytime between 3:30 and 5:30 a.m. I think the sleep deprivation is starting to catch up with me, though at the same time, I know I'm pretty lucky to only get up once per night.

I know you shouldn't compare your kids, but of course, I do it all the time. I think most people probably do! It's not that I'm really comparing Noah and Liam to each other but rather my experience with each one. While Liam adjusted quickly to a consistent night routine initially, Noah was up all night long for the first 3 weeks. Then, Noah starting going 8 hours between feedings at 7 weeks, and Liam is still stuck at 5-7 hours between feedings. We use the Babywise scheduling method (Eat, Awake, Sleep) with Liam just like we did with Noah, and by 9 weeks of age, something like 96% of boys start sleeping through the night. I am PRAYING that Liam is in that majority because I am ready to sleep all night! When Noah was little, it wasn't as big of a deal if I didn't sleep all night because I could nap during the day or just take lazy days here and there. Because Noah is 3 years old, I can't just take naps or be lazy when I'm tired from a long night with Liam. I have to give him my best effort and be engaged to play games, go fun places, and be silly with him.

This won't last forever, and I am hopeful that most of my sleepless nights are behind me. Even when I'm frustrated by getting up at 3:00 a.m. for a feeding, I am thankful that 1) Liam is still alive (SIDS is a scary thing!), 2) breastfeeding is going well, and 3) I get to snuggle with this precious gift. I started letting Liam cry a bit more to put himself back to sleep. I know he is not hungry, his diaper is changed, and he has burped, so Last night, he woke up at 3:30 a.m. to eat. After I finished feeding him, he fell asleep, but he woke back up crying. I let him cry for 5 minutes to start. I picked him up, tried to burp him (b/c he swallows air with all that crying), calmed him down, and he fell asleep right away in my arms. I put him down, and he started crying again. This time, I let him cry for 10 minutes. I again tried to burp him, told him he was ok, and put him back in his crib. That time when he started crying, it only lasted about 3 minutes, and he fell asleep. By this time it was 4:40 a.m. Liam then stayed asleep until 8:15 a.m. - thank goodness!

The boys are both napping now, but I need to wake Liam up to eat because it's been 3 hours since he last ate. I was able to take a shower, get ready for the day (yes at 1:15 p.m.), cut out coupons/organized grocery trips, pay bills, talk the people at AT&T into lowering our phone and internet bills, and talk to the owner of a preschool about Noah possibly attending there for the 2012-2013 school year. I'd say that was a pretty successful use of my time during their naps! Now if only my dishes were done, and the carpets were vacuumed... :)

Happy 3rd Birthday, Noah!

2011-06-20T17:25:00.000-04:00

Lemongrass Photography

I don't know how it happened, but Noah turned 3 years old on May 15th! I can't believe my little man is growing up so quickly. Sometimes I feel like I blinked my eyes, and 3 years worth of laughter, cuddling, and conversations flashed before my eyes.

One of my favorite things about Noah is how he has such a gentle soul. He is a really thoughtful, sweet, and caring little boy. He's really at an age where we can have pretty decent conversations, and I find myself laughing all the time when I'm with him!

When I saw this picture (above), I had a huge flash forward of him getting his senior pictures taken! I know we have a long time until we're there, but I know it will happen much faster than I'm prepared to experience. Noah continues to be an awesome big brother. He is very sweet to Liam, calling him his "best friend." How adorable is that? It is my heart's desire for the boys to grow up being very close, despite their age difference. I also want to raise Noah to be a man that someday a wonderful girl will want to marry. I want him to be kind, compassionate, respectful, responsible, and committed for his future family. I want to raise a boy who can cook, do his own laundry, mow the grass, etc. I'm hoping that Ryan and I can model what a healthy marriage looks like so that he can someday have a happy, healthy marriage himself.

Ok, enough of the serious stuff! I think I'm just realzing how quickly this foundational time where we can shape and mold him is passing by. At some point not too far away, I know his friends will have just as much if not more influence on him than we will. Gosh, if turning 3 makes me think about the future this much, imagine how I'll feel when he goes to kindergarten!

For his birthday party this year, we kept things pretty simple because we had only been home from the hospital after Liam's birth for a week when it came time to celebrate! Noah wanted a Word World birthday party theme, which was such a great idea! If your kids have not seen this cartoon, you'll have to turn on PBS for them. It's such a cute cartoon! Noah learned all of his letters so quickly just by watching it. We cut out letters and pasted them around the house for items like the radio, window, mirror (below), door, porch, and "fireplace" (below).

We invited just our immediate family members, had lunch and cake, and then opened presents.

Cake created by Wanda Henderson

I was really sad to not make Noah's cake this year because it's been something I've really enjoyed the past two birthdays. However, with Liam's birth falling so close to Noah's birthday, I didn't really have a choice. In fact, I was making last minute cake preparations just a few hours before leaving for the hospital. :)

After singing Happy Birthday, we enjoyed some cake, and it was - as Noah says - DEEELICIOUS!! He opened his gifts, and as usual, everyone picked out very generous, wonderful gifts. The timing was perfect. He had lots of new, fun toys/games to play with as we adjusted to life with a newborn.

Happy birthday, sweet boy!! I love you to the moon and back!!

One Month Later...

2011-06-06T15:59:00.001-04:00

Happy one month birthday to Baby Liam today! I can't believe we've already spent 31 days together since he was born. To be honest, I think they have been the happiest 31 days of my life. Ryan took a week off work right after Liam was born. Then, his work's paternity leave allows him to take 5 half days but be paid for the whole day. Nice, huh?! We spent some much time together those two weeks as a family of four, and we LOVED every minute of it! Check out some of our adventures below:

Soon after we got home from the hospital, Ryan's parents brought by Noah's birthday present - a crab sandbox! It was the perfect gift, and Noah has enjoyed hours of fun in that sandbox!

We spent some time in the sprinkler on some of the earlier hot summer days! However, if we're going to be completely honest, Noah rarely goes through the sprinkler, so the grass just gets a good watering.

We also bought a small pool for Noah to play in on days when I can't get the boys over to our neighborhood pool. Ryan had the brilliant idea of putting it on the porch so the bugs would stay out, and so that we could stay in the shade while he played. The only downside is that the water doesn't get very warm. Noah and Ryan have played in the pool a lot since Liam was born!

Snuggle time with Daddy - always a favorite around our house. I look at this picture and know that I am the luckiest girl in the world to have these three guys in my life. LOVE IT!

Yay, a picture of Noah and I together!! I'm usually the one behind the camera, so there are few pictures of me. I told Ryan that if he doesn't start taking more pictures of me with the boys, they'll never believe I was around. Can I get an "amen," moms out there?? Here is a picture of us enjoying some snuggle time, too.

Look how bright-eyed Liam is! He has always had good awake time during the day where he just looks around and every now and then makes eye contact with me and smiles. He is a such a sweet baby and a mama's boy for sure already. If I hand him over to Ryan, he immediately gives his daddy the stink eye. HILARIOUS!

More snuggles with Liam - one of my newest favorite activities. He likes to cuddle in right there against my neck. I am enjoying each and every minute of this time because I do realize how quickly it goes by. I'm not sure if we will have more kids or not - time will tell - so I especially want to savor these moments because Liam might just be my last baby (tear).

Ahh...jumping off the wall with a ballon tied to your wrist - always a good time and crowd pleaser, especially when you're not wearing any pants (haha!). He keeps waiting to float around in the air once he jumps, but so far, no luck. Guess we will have to keep trying!

Liam's first bath - I thought we'd never get there! His umbilical cord didn't fall off for over 2 weeks, so we had quite the wait. The crazy thing was, I never saw it after it fell off. I was changing his diaper and noticed it was gone. Then, hours later I saw Kya munching on something crunchy and couldn't figure out what it was. We really think she might have eaten his umbilical cord!! Liam loved his bath, especially if I kept putting a warm wash cloth or pouring warm water on him. Love the hammock bathtub...so much better than the one we had with Noah.

Ryan and Noah got to give Liam his first bottle soon after he turned 2 weeks old, and I had pumped enough milk. He took the bottle like a champion - 2 1/2 ounces - and then I topped him off. :) Ryan loved this time with Liam. I think it's hard for daddies to feel bonded to newborns when the moms breastfeed because they have so much less time with the babies. Having a chance to feed him gave him some much needed time with his new son! Isn't Noah a proud big brother?!

Snuggle time again - we're doing this a lot these days. Liam looks so much like Ryan to me, so when I take pictures of Ryan holding Liam, I feel like Ryan is holding himself 30 years ago. :)

Here's a typical picture of Noah and me playing in his playroom. I tried to get him to open his eyes for a picture, but he prefers the squinty ones...likes to tease me like that! His new favorite playtime activities include his computer and a spelling game that he got for his birthday.

Call me a huge geek, but I love community events! By this I mean that I scour the newspaper and internet every chance I get to find out what fun festivals, concerts, and other events we can attend as a family. This picture above is from last Friday. We went to this free concert in the park where they provided free hot dogs, chips, cookies, and drinks. Our friends Jessica, Matt, and Bryson (their son - age 3) joined us there for the evening! Liam and Cohen were born 3 weeks apart, and we finally got a picture of the two of them together. Hopefully, they will be great buddies like their older brothers! It was such a fun night. The boys played all evening, while Jess and I had some uninterrupted girl time.

Here is another community event from Saturday! Mallow Run Winery does Bazbeaux Pizza and Wine nights twice a month, and we decided to meet up with our friends - the Bauermeisters, Tolles, and Wards - and all of our kids. I enjoyed my first glass of wine in almost a year, and it was everything I hoped it would be! The pizza and knuckles were delicious, too! I loved the time with our friends. Here is a picture of my beautiful friend, Dalia, trying to get Liam to calm down. He woke up early from his nap and was giving us a hard time. I ended up feeding him, and all was well again!

Liam has started playing under his play gym recently and seems to like it quite a bit! Noah lived under here for the first few months of his life because he loved it so much.

Our friends Jill (below) and Tommy came over Sunday night for a visit! Jill was my very first girlfriend, and we have quite a history of friendship together that dates back to 1st grade all the way through high school and also our time at Hanover College. She made the most delicious brownies, so we enjoyed a fun dessert that evening. Isn't their son, Kellen (above), so beautiful?? He was full of energy and life, and we loved every minute of their visit!

Our lives have forever changed with Liam's birth, and now that he's here, I can't imagine life without him. My heart has grown twice in size with all the love that I have for my two beautiful sons. For the past week, Liam has been consistently going 6 hours at night (10:15 p.m. to 4:15 a.m.) between feedings, but on two occasions, he made it 8 hours (10:30 p.m. to 6:30 a.m.). It's amazing how much better you feel with some sleep! Noah has made this transition without missing a beat. We are having all kinds of fun during my time off work! We spend most days at the park or the pool and get really excited when Ryan comes home from work. Liam is very laid back and seems to be plenty happy as long has he has his meewks (milk) every 3 hours, sometimes sooner though. I love my family and feel a real sense of completion. I'm not ruling out having more kids in the future...I think we'll know for sure in 2-3 years...but for now, I'm just enjoying these beautiful blessings from God! Every day Ryan and I look forward to Noah's bedtime so that we can have some uninterrupted time together to just talk, watch TV, or watch a movie. We have also done really well with this transition, working like a well-oiled machine. I love my family and don't know why I got so lucky in life, but I count my blessings every single day.

Liam's Birth Story

2011-05-15T21:06:00.000-04:00

I am so excited to finally share Liam's birth story with all of you, as well as have it recorded to read again in the future! As I left things in my last blog, I was 40 weeks and trying to be patient with God's perfect timing for Liam's big arrival. I had a prenatal appointment on Wednesday, May 4th, and since Dr. Soper was delivering a baby, we met with the nurse practitioner, Sandy. She checked me, and said that I was 50% effaced and 1 cm dilated. FINALLY! My body was making some progress. I felt so encouraged by the news. After the appointment, I went back to work and finished up as much stuff as I could. I dealt with some spotting the rest of that day due to the check, and the more I thought about it, the more I felt like I should take a personal day the next day to clean our house and get some last minute groceries just in case I went into labor in the next couple of days.

Thursday rolled around, and I just felt different. I was thankful for the half day off work because my contractions were a little more crampy/achy, and I was still spotting. I dropped Noah off at his class and went straight to Meijer. After I finished my shopping, I drove back home, and the cleaning spree began. I was having contractions still, but they weren't close enough for me to want to time them. I figured that if things moved along, I'd know it and time them at that point.

My four hours of shopping and cleaning were gone in a flash, and it was time to pick up Noah from his class. I quickly got him down for a nap and was able to get a few more things done while he was sleeping. After Ryan got home from work, we all went outside to play for a bit. I could feel the cotnractions coming on stronger and thought to myself, "Oh yeah, this is what contractions feel like!" I told Ryan that I felt like this could be the real thing, but I could feel myself holding back because Noah was home. I didn't want him to see me in pain or behaving any differently, so I just wouldn't submit to the direction my body was trying to go. I got pretty emotional at this point. It hit me hard that this would most likely be the last time that it would be just the three of us. I looked at Noah, and he looked SO big. He was being so sweet and so silly, and I was loving every minute of it. After a good cry that I did my best to hide from Noah (mostly because I wanted him to leave our house that night feeling like everything was normal), I felt a lot better. Ryan called his parents and asked them to come down for dinner. Then, if my labor was still progressing, he asked if they would take Noah back to their house.

While John and Gloria made their way to our house, I started making beef stroganoff. I mean, why not, right? I had the meat already thawed in our fridge and didn't want it to go bad. Plus, I thought the carbs and protein would give me energy in case we did go into active labor! At some point, I called Julie (our doula) to let her know that I thought that things might be progressing toward active labor. She was getting ready to have dinner with her family, so we decided to touch base in a couple hours. Ryan's parents arrived and we all sat down to eat. I was timing my contractions at this point, and I think they were 4 to 5 minutes apart, lasting about a minute each. I could still talk through them just fine, but they were definitely getting more intense. Since things were moving along, we packed Noah's bags and said our goodbyes. As much as I missed him when he left, I was excited to finally surrender to my body.

Ryan and I got Kya and starting on our first walk around the neighborhood. My contractions increased in frequency, duration, and intensity during the walk. I was having them every 2-3 minutes, and they were lasting anywhere from 1.5-2 minutes each. After walking about a mile and a half, we went inside to see if my contractions continued with the same duration - they did! They continued to last 1.5-2 minutes but were 3-4 minutes apart now. Ryan and I decided to watch Grey's Anatomy and an episode of The Big Bang Theory, but my contractions became more intense, and I couldn't concentrate on BBT. Ryan packed up the car, took a shower, and went to Subway to get us some foot long subs (Jimmy Johns was already closed). We called Dr. Soper to let her know about the contractions, and she said, "Well, the only way we'll know if you're in labor is if you come to get checked." Instantly, I was scared because hospitals make me very nervous. I asked that she share my desire to have a room with a tub to labor in when she called the hospital, but she said, "Oh just let them know when you get there." I was doubly anxious then! She had everything set up for us last time when we arrived, and to know that we could possibly not have a tub when got to the hospital made me really nervous to go. I told her that Ryan was gone getting food, and that we would leave sometime after he got back. I still was in no hurry to go to the hospital at that point. Part of me really questioned if I was truly in labor - I think I was in denial to be honest. I started texting/emailing friends, family, and coworkers to give them the update. I finalized Noah's birthday cake plans (i.e., scanned the sketch I made along with pictures of Word World characters). Yes, I was finishing all of the last minute things that "needed" to get done so that I again could surrender to this process.

Almost immediately after talking to Dr. Soper, my contractions slowed down. I had been sitting for awhile watching TV and sending email, so Ryan and I began walked around the house. Things picked right back up, so we called our friend, Kevin, to come pick up Kya. He arrived at our house around 11:30 p.m. I could still talk through my contractions just fine, though they were pretty intense at times. With Kya gone, I felt myself surrender that much more. My contractions were picking up and were starting to get more difficult to talk through. We called Julie to give her an update, and we decided to meet in the hospital lobby. That would give us a chance to see how things were moving along and determine when would be the best time to go up to the maternity floor. I was excited to meet Liam but also nervous to experience the rest of this labor and ultimately the delivery!

As we drove to the hospital, Ryan and I savored the time together. During contractions, I was focused on breathing, but between them, I was completely relaxed and happy talking to Ryan. We arrived at the hospital at 12:30 a.m. and went straight to the lobby. I sat on my exercise ball and just moved through the contractions. They were definitely sharper in intensity, but again, during the breaks I felt fine. Julie arrived about 10 minutes after we did, and the three of us just talked whenever I wasn't having contractions. Finally, at about 1:00 a.m., Julie suggested we go ahead and walk to the elevators that would take us up to the maternity floor. We stopped for each of my contractions so that I could move with them, and then we would continue on our journey. The entire time, I was praying and telling God that I trusted Him. Whatever happened once we reached the maternity floor, I was ok because I knew God had a plan for Liam's birth. We were offered wheelchairs on the way to the elevator, but Julie and Ryan let them know that I preferred to walk. The ride in the elevator went quickly until I had a really strong contraction just as the elevator reached the top. I worked through that one, and as I turned around to get off, I saw at least 10 people sitting in the waiting room staring at me with their mouths open. I think they thought I was going to have the baby right there in the elevator! :)

We walked to triage where they would want to check my cervix, separate me from Ryan and Julie to ask me domestic abuse questions, give me an IV port, etc. I skipped triage when I was in labor with Noah because Dr. Soper told them to just send me back to my room. This time, they made me go to the bathroom to change into a gown and give them a urine sample. I prayed, "God, if I need to go to triage this time around, I trust you. Whatever you have planned, I surrender to it." In the meantime, I continued having strong contractions. As I was washing my hands at the bathroom sink, my contraction was so strong that it took me up to my tippy toes. Then, there was a POP and GUSH...my water broke all over the bathroom floor. The nurse at the front desk said, "Is that what I think it was?" We answered that yes, my water broke. She and the midwife decided that I didn't need to stay in triage afterall. They knew I was in labor! Ryan said, "That old water balloon-in-the-pocket trick works everytime!" I was cracking up! I felt God really speak to me in that moment - to continue trusting His plan and surrendering to His will. Everything would be just fine!

We made our way down the hall to the labor and delivery room, and sure enough, there was a tub waiting for me inside! I got in the bed while the nurse and midwife established a baseline for Liam's heart rate. I had some pretty strong contractions in the bed, and Julie said, "I'm going to start filling up the tub." I thought to myself, "Julie, I'm probalby 3 cm along. Don't get my hopes up and make me think I'm going to be able to get in the tub!" The midwife checked me, and sure enough, I was 5 cm already. I yelled, "Thank you, Jesus!" because I knew I would find a lot of relief once I got in the water (they won't let you in until 5 cm or else you take the risk of slowing down labor). After they established his heart rate, I high-tailed it to the tub and jumped in the water. Ryan said he almost missed me get in because I was moving so fast! :)

The tub was still filling up when I got in, but before I knew it, the water was well over my belly, and I started getting into a rhythm. I started rocking side-to-side, just like I had when I was in labor with Noah. Rubbing my lower back against the ledges on the tub helped relieve some of the back labor I was experiencing. The contractions were definitely strong, but I felt the counter pressure around me from the water, which really helped. Before I knew it, I was starting to feel the urge to push at the peak of my contractions, so I mentioned it to everyone. The nurse checked me, and she said I was 7 1/2 cm already and that the baby was right there, which is why I felt the urge to push at times. When I heard 7 1/2 cm, I knew that I was in transitional labor, which meant LONG contractions with very short breaks in between. My body began shaking, and I asked Julie why that was happening. I remembered it happening with Noah but not at that point in labor. Julie later told me that I was shaking because I was in transitional labor. During this next stage, I felt like I was having the longest contractions ever, and it seemed like I wasn't getting any breaks. They were really intense, but I knew it meant we were getting closer. I asked Julie and Ryan to pray quietly to themselves that things would move quickly because I was feeling pretty overwhelmed.

Then, all of the sudden, everything stopped. I found myself totally relaxed and at rest. In fact, I felt like I had fallen asleep in the water. My body was completely submerged, and only my face was above water. I floated in the water for about 5 minutes completely at peace. Slowly I woke up as my next contraction began to build. Then it hit me: I had just experienced the rest period you have when your cervix is completely dilated, and your body is ready to push. It was go time! At this point, I really feel like my mind and body disconnected. With Noah, my pushing phase was very cognitive driven. I would think to myself, "Ok. Push. Hold. Take a breath and push again!" This time, I felt the first overwhelming urge to push and started saying, "Have to push...have to push...help...help..." because my doctor wasn't in the room yet. Everyone encouraged me to just listen to my body, and before I knew it, my body just started pushing and my mind was playing catch up! I think I got in at least two good pushes before Dr. Soper arrived. The rest of my labor seemed to be one big contraction! Again, without my mind's permission, my body began pushing again. Everything was moving so quickly this time! I completely felt Liam move through my body. I could hear Ryan saying, "Amy, you're doing it! I can see him. He's right there! You can do this!" This time, it was overwhelming how strong the next contraction was and how NOT in control I felt. My body continued to push again, and before I knew it, Liam's head was out. One push later, and Baby Liam was in my arms!

The explosion of endorphins hit me immediately and felt like the fireworks' finale. Ryan and I were both overcome with emotion seeing this little baby boy lying in my arms. We kissed each other and stared at Liam in amazement. Dr. Soper said, "Well, that was fast and furious!" She wasn't kidding! Then Ryan said, "Oh no, did he tear his little lip on the way out?" I looked at Liam's face and saw that he had a little cleft lip. Dr. Soper stuck her finger in his mouth and let us know that his palate was completely intact, so it was simply cosmetic. She said that it wouldn't affect his ability to nurse at all. What a relief!

I then got out of the tub and got into the bed so that we could donate Liam's umbilical cord blood. While Dr. Soper collected the blood, she asked what the official time of birth was. Melissa, our nurse, answered, "2:42 a.m." My eyes made a bee-line straight to the clock, and sure enough, it wasn't even 3:00 a.m. yet. I was in shock! We didn't even leave for the hospital until midnight, which made us arrive around 12:30 a.m. We sat in the lobby until 1:00 a.m. and by the time we were in triage and my water had broke, it was 1:30 a.m. Now they were telling me that Liam was born at 2:42 a.m.! I couldn't believe how fast my labor had progressed. We figured out that I was only in transitional labor for approximately 15-20 minutes. That was WAY faster than the hour and a half of transition I experienced with Noah.

While I was on the bed, Ryan was busy cuddling and falling in love with Liam. He brought Liam to me then, and we had our own skin-to-skin time. Before I knew it, Liam was rooting and ready to go. He wiggled his way over and latched right on like he'd been breastfeeding for months already. It was AWESOME to see that his lip didn't affect his ability to nurse at all just like Dr. Soper said. After Liam was done breastfeeding, Melissa and Ryan took him to determine his weight, height, and complete other baby checks.

I sat in bed, amazed at the gift God had given us - another little boy to call our son. He was perfect in every way, and I was falling in love with him already. I thanked Julie for once again supporting us throughout our labor and delivery. I couldn't imagine having a natural childbirth without her there to support us along the way. Then I looked at my husband and knew that I had never loved him more. He was so encouraging and helpful not only through my pregnancy but also especially while laboring at home, in the car, and at the hospital. His voice was the only one I heard during the pushing phase, and it was all that kept me grounded when I could've been just completely overwhelmed by my body. I started praying and thanking God for giving me the strength to bring another child into this world. When I was in transitional labor, I kept thinking of Jesus on the cross and the sacrifice He made for us so that we could spend eternity with Him in heaven. I was meditating on scenes from The Passion when Jesus is suffering at the hands of men. Although my suffering and sacrifice where on a much smaller scale in comparison, I felt my strength grow when those images came to mind. One thing is for sure - in the majority of cases, a woman's body is perfectly created to safely bring a baby into this world without medical intervention. I am SO thankful that God allowed my body to show the strength of a woman through my birth experience.

Liam's birth was easily the craziest, most intense experience I've ever had in my life, with Noah's birth coming in second place. Although I remember the details of both experiences, it's amazing how quickly you forget the pain of childbirth. People often don't understand why I would choose to have a natural birth, and there are just so many reasons. One of the biggest reasons is that we rarely experience anything on Earth the way God created it to be. We typically like to do things our way, so surrendering to His process made both Noah's and Liam's births really spiritual experiences...something I know I will never forget.

While at the hospital, I found completely in love with Liam. My son was so beautiful and sweet! I experienced pain only from my uterus shrinking back down to its original size. That pain felt excrutiating at times, and I breathed through them like labor contractions. Other than that, I had no pain from the birth - honestly! That was part of the reason I wanted a water birth so badly. I had heard the recovery is so much better, and let me tell you, that is definitely true! My recovery has been a breeze.

Our parents all came to visit, as well as a couple friends during our day and a half stay at Methodist. Ryan's parents brought Noah to see us, and I loved the snuggle time he gave me! He was sweet about Liam but also just played around the room by himself. He was happy and made the transition to big brother without missing a beat. We were excited to be discharged around 4:30 p.m. on Saturday, approximately 40 hours after we arrived on the maternity floor. Ryan's mom brought Noah to the hospital, and we took our first pictures as a family of four.

We left the hospital, two boys in the backseat, and I had such a sense of completion - so much so that it brought me to tears. I have never felt so blessed and so undeserving all at the same time. What have I done to deserve such a beautiful family? Why do I get to have all I've ever dreamed of having - a marriage where we adore each other so completely, a little boy who is compassionate, sweet, and silly at all once, and a new baby boy who is reminds me that God's greatest gift is allowing me to be a mother. We drove home as a family of four, looking foward to the future with anticipation, excitement, and sheer joy.

40 Weeks

2011-05-03T21:37:00.001-04:00

We hit the 40 week mark yesterday, and my due date of May 2nd came and went! I've never been pregnant this long (we had Noah at 38 weeks), and to be honest, it has been quite an experience. For those of you who read this blog often, you know my feelings about due dates being plus or minus two weeks. Sometimes I can get frustrated with people for saying they were "late" when in fact having a baby after 40 weeks is completely normal. Well, friends, let me be the first to tell you that while I still feel that having a baby after 40 weeks is completely normal, I now have sympathy for women who are still pregnant past 40 weeks. At 37 weeks, you are considered "full term," and the baby would be born completely ready for the world! So, at 37 weeks, part of you starts to prepare and think, "Ok, the baby could come anytime now and be ok!" So, after having those thoughts for 3 weeks, I've started to have some fear creep into my mind. Will I go into labor on my own? Will the baby be ok? I had a friend from college lose her baby at 37 weeks gestation, and as much as you try not to think about it, the reality is there - it happened to her and could happen to me, too. When those moments hit, I find myself in prayer and remembering that Satan loves to attack us through fear and doubt in ourselves. Knowing that this baby and the timeline for his birth are in God's hands - that He is in control, and I want what He wants - is all it takes to push those fears away and to feel His light surround me. I do feel more humbled now that I know what it's like to be pregnant after your due date and am thankful to be experiencing that emotion!

With all of that said, I truly feel great physically! I am more tired and a bit uncomfortable in the evenings, but after a full night's rest, I feel rejuvenated and ready for the day. I haven't had the thought "Get this baby out of me! I can't take it anymore!" I really feel ok. Of course, I'm ready to know how my labor will begin...ready to know what my labor will be like...ready to know how the delivery will go...and ready to meet my new son! However, I'm being patient and trying to stay positive through some of those "down" moments that I've had the past week. We have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning, and I'm hopeful that I've made some progress in preparation for the big event. I did plenty of walking today with my friend Dalia, her daughter Ava, and Noah today at the Children's Museum, which has brought on many more contractions than what I've had in previous days. Maybe just maybe they are getting me somewhere. Either way, God willing, we will meet this little guy no later than May 16th! Then we can reveal his cute little name, share his birth story, and start our lives as a family of four!!

Ryan and I have really been on a high in terms of our connection in our marriage. We have both put a lot of effort into taking care of each other the past few months, and I know it has helped us build a foundation as we prepare for the big transition that lies ahead. I don't know that I've ever felt closer to him in the 10 years we've been together! I can't wait to see him be a father to this little boy that has been growing and stretching in my belly for the past 40 weeks. I fell in love with him even more after Noah was born, and I know I'll be smitten all over again, taking our relationship to the next level. How exciting is that?!

As for Noah, my sweet boy, I get choked up thinking about how much he means to me. It's truly like seeing your own heart exist outside your body. He has the sweetest, most tender soul, and at the same time, his energy and spirit are both so happy, silly, and playful! I know he is going to be a great big brother, and my hope and dream for these boys is that they are the best of friends, forever and always being in each others' corners, loving each other, and taking care of each other. You know, when you have kids, I think it really gives you the opportunity to prioritize what you want most out of life. And I have to tell you, if at the end of my life, my boys love the Lord, have been safe from harm, and are happy with their lives, it will be all that I've ever wanted and more. Noah, I'm hoping someday you'll read these blogs I've written about our lives together - you, me, and your daddy - and I hope you can feel how much I love you, that you know I would do anything for you, and that you understand how easy it would be for me to give up my life for you. I love you and your daddy beyond anything I have ever known, and I can't wait to move into this next stage of life together, with your little brother baby brother joining us in this journey we call life. And as for you, little baby boy, keep growing strong, and know that your daddy and I will love you, take care of you, and provide for you in every way we know how. I can't wait to meet you!

Easter Sunday 2011

2011-04-24T20:21:00.001-04:00

Happy Easter everyone! I hope you have had a wonderful time celebrating this special day with those you love most. We've had a really nice weekend! I always had this feeling that the baby would make his appearance April 23-24th - looks like I was off this time. :) Friday night I went and saw Water for Elephants with my friends Jessica and Claire at 9:55 p.m. because I was worried if I didn't see it then, I wouldn't get to see it for awhile. I napped from 7:30-9:15 p.m. and then drove to the theatre. The movie was REALLY good! I read the book last summer and loved it, so seeing it come to life on the big screen was a lot of fun. What made things a little more exciting that night was that I was having contractions about every 3 minute for nearly the entire movie. They felt low and crampy and made my back ache a bit. Only a couple times were the contractions so strong that I lost focus on the movie for about a minute each time. I really thought that was it - we were going into labor! I got home around 12:30 a.m. and woke Ryan up to tell him that we needed to pack our hospital bags (finally). We were both getting excited but went to bed as quickly as we could in order to rest up for what would maybe become the big show.

Turns out, it was a little show. My contractions slowed down and eventually stopped in the middle of the night. Ryan woke me up around 4:30 a.m. to let me know he was getting ready to go on his 18 mile run, and I realized I had slept all night without waking up to contractions. I have to admit, I was disappointed. Mentally I felt really strong before going to bed as I prepared for what we hope would be an intervention-free birth. I was praying to God that I have the strength that Jesus had on Good Friday over 2,000 years ago - the strength to endure the most physically painful/intense day of his life in order to benefit all of those who place faith in him. When I was in labor with Noah, I remember the experience being very spiritual. God had designed my body perfectly to bring this baby into the world. He provided breaks between contractions so that I could recover and prepare for the next one. Pregnancy itself is a sacrifice - you sacrifice your health (e.g., 17 weeks of nausea and 3 sinus infections later) and your physical appearance (hello extra 30 pounds strapped to the front of my body!). Then, when it comes time to go through labor and delivery, you again are making emotional, mental, and physical sacrifices all because you love this little person who is about to be born. I loved the idea of having an Easter weekend baby, but I do trust that God knows the best time for this little one to be born. So now we patiently wait.

Noah snuggling with Ryan last week

Fortunately, we had a great weekend that made "waiting" more bearable! Saturday morning my dad and Danette arrived to spend the morning and early afternoon with us. After visiting for a bit, we all went to an Easter egg hunt at St. Barnabas with our friends Jill and Aaron and their two little ones. Two years in a row, I forgot to bring an Easter basket. Seriously, how does a person forget that detail?! Noah put his eggs in my purse, and all was well. We then went and had lunch at BJs Brewhouse - by the way, their Shrimp Scampi Pasta is delicious! Afterwards, we drove back to our house and just played and visited until Noah was ready for his nap. Dad and Danette left shortly after, so Ryan and I laid down for a nap, too. We woke up to Noah walking into our room and scaring us to death! You see, he's not allowed to get out of bed without us either going into his room first or without us talking to him on our new video monitors (love them by the way!). What made things scarier is that he went downstairs first to look for us. Then, when he didn't find us, he came to our room, and by that time, he was scared, too. It freaks me out to think he could have wandered outside without us even knowing! We had a serious talk with him about not leaving his bed when he wakes up, so hopefully we won't see him do that again for a long time!

Last night, my mom and Kent stopped by after their visit with my brother, my sister-in-law, and their new baby, Natalie Alaine. Isn't she gorgeous! I'm so sad that we haven't been able to visit them yet, but I can't wait to see them in their new roles as parents. More than that, though - I can't wait to kiss her little cheeks!! Oh yeah, where was I? Mom and Kent came over and spent a couple hours with us. Noah was playing baseball outside with Kent and Ryan while my mom and I talked and talked and talked. We had such a great visit, and I felt spoiled to see all my parents in one day! We almost got together with Ryan's mom, sister, and her kids, but it just was going to work out well timing-wise.

This morning for Easter, Ryan got up bright and early to go practice the songs before church began. He played at the 8:00 a.m. service (we never have a service at that time but did for Easter) and then came home for a bit and had breakfast with us. Soon after he left to go back for the 9:30 a.m. service, Noah and I also left for church. It was bittersweet because Noah has stayed with me during the music portion since he was born, partially so he can see Ryan play, partially because he enjoys the music so much, and partially because I have selfishly loved snuggling with him while we sing our hearts out! With having another baby, I know it will be too hard to juggle both of them by myself while Ryan is playing. Since today was Ryan's last time playing for several weeks (because of the baby), it will be nice to have his help transitioning Noah into his classroom right when church begins rather than after the music. I'm excited to have the extra time with him now that he'll have a nice break! We don't get to go to church very often together, so I plan to just soak it up!

After church, we came home, had lunch, and played with Noah. I sterilized the tubing, shields, nipples, and bottles for my breast pump (check that off the list!), and then when Noah went down for a nap, so did we. A couple hours later, Noah woke up, and he found Easter eggs hidden around our house, as well as his Easter basket filled with more eggs, the Over the Hedge DVD, and The Hungry Caterpiller book. We watched his new movie and had dinner this even. Now, Noah is playing on the porch with Ryan while I finish this blog. We had a wonderful weekend together! Today marked the 4 year anniversary we have been at Emmanuel, and we are so grateful for the personal growth and new friendships that have resulted from our time there.

I would love your prayers for the continued health of this baby boy! Please pray that we can be patient for God's timing and enjoy these last days/weeks we have as a family of three (plus Kya!). I think I'm going to take Noah to the Children's Museum tomorrow. It will probably be our last time for awhile, and Noah loves it - not to mention it will keep me walking for several hours chasing an almost 3 year old busy boy! Again, I hope you all had a happy Easter! Hopefully I will be blogging soon about the big adventure that lies ahead.

Riding the carousel last time we went to the museum

Full Term

2011-04-21T16:19:00.000-04:00

We hit the full term mark on Monday, April 11th, and this past Monday, April 18th, we crossed into our 38th week of pregnancy. We're excited to be at this point in our journey, and now the waiting begins.When we were pregnant with Noah, we never had to wait because he surprised us the day we turned 38 weeks. All along, I really felt like this baby would arrive sometime between April 16th and April 24th. Now we are there, and Easter Sunday is drawing near. Will this be the weekend we go into labor and meet our new son? I wish I knew! I'm not overly uncomfortable, and I do feel patient with this part of pregnancy. I am just dying to know when and how it will all unfold!

Saturday night at about 2:45 a.m., I woke up to a pretty strong contraction. I ended up timing them for about an hour. They weren't consistent but ranged from 3-6 minutes apart. I could feel the baby pushing down, and I felt like we were definitely getting closer to the real thing. All week I've felt pretty "normal," and although I have contractions all the time, typically they aren't painful. I'm trying to wrap things up at work and am getting really close. I think everything could be completely finished - with the exception of one conference - by the end of the day tomorrow. Of course, if the little man doesn't make his appearance for a bit longer, I can always find more things to do!

The laundry is done. The house is clean. The nursery is prepared, and the diapers are stockpiled. I have my contact list for when we got into labor and when the baby is born, and I've completed all the necessary paperwork to donate the baby's cord blood. However, just like when we were pregnant with Noah, though, the hospital bag is still not packed! I just can't bring myself to do it for some reason! I think I will pack it tomorrow - the list of what to pack has been ready for weeks - just in case the big show is this weekend!

Ryan is getting more and more excited to meet the little guy, too! Whenever I do go into labor, I'm going to tell Ryan that it's time to get Jimmy Johns - kind of like our secret code! Last time after Noah was born, I was starving!! It was very late at night, and they brought me this dry, not-so-good-tasting turkey sandwich. So, I told Ryan this time, on the way to the hospital, we will need to pick up Jimmy Johns on the way there, even if I am having contractions every 3 minutes. I don't eat deli meat during pregnancy because I'm afraid to get lysteria, so it will be a treat after baby boy is born!

For now, I am just praying that I go into labor when my body and this baby are both fully ready. I pray that I be patient for God's perfect timing as we enter the final stage of this pregnancy. I would appreciate your prayers for a healthy baby and a safe delivery! I'm excited to share our birth story with you. Hopefully all will go smoothly, and we will find ourselves a happy, healthy family of four in the next few weeks.

37 Weeks

38 Weeks

A Fun Weekend with Friends!

2011-04-13T09:22:00.001-04:00

This past Friday night, Ryan and I had our friends Abigail and Devin over for dinner. We hadn't seen both of them together since November when the latest Harry Potter came out, so we were very much looking forward to some time with them! My mom said that she and Kent would be happy to keep Noah overnight, and Noah couldn't wait to get to their house to play in the barn. Ryan let me know that the following morning that he had a big surprise for me, so I couldn't make any plans. Check!

AfterAbigail and Devin arrived, we put some steaks on the grill and asparagus in the oven. I finished up the mashed potatoes while Ryan grilled the steaks. We sat down and had a fun dinner just catching up with our friends we've had for the past 11-12 years. It was WONDERFUL being able to talk over dinner without being interrupted or having to beg Noah to take another bite of his food!! After dinner, we played a game of Word on the Street and then Ticket to Ride. I hadn't played games FOREVER - it was so fun! Devin ended up winning Ticket to Ride and taking our game home. We figured it will be awhile until we can play games like that again. :) The rest of the night we spent laughing at You Tube videos and talking about all sorts of stuff. It was a great night! Crazy to think that the next time we see them, we will be a family of four.

The next morning, I quickly got ready for my surprise morning! We rushed out the door at 8:45 a.m. and started heading north. Next thing I know, we were pulling into my friend Dalia's neighborhood. As we pulled into her driveway, I saw all the girls (Dalia, Patty, Natalie, and Kerri) in my Bible study group there, too! They started honking their horn at me and told me to jump in their car. So this was my surprise!! I hopped in the car and off we went toward downtown Indy.

Patty, Dalia, me, Kerri, and Natalie

I was so excited about having some girl time with these awesome women! We meet as couples twice a month to have dinner, discuss whatever Bible study we are doing, and to have accountability time with one another. Doing this for the past 4 years has had a huge impact on our marriage and spiritual growth. I love these women, and knowing that they planned a special morning for me made my heart smile!

Our first stop was at Cafe Patachou, one of my very favorite places to have breakfast! I can't even remember the last time I got together with girlfriends for breakfast - maybe never. It was so fun! I ordered their croissant French toast with fresh fruit, a side of eggs, and a hazelnut steamer, which was especially delicious on that chilly rainy morning. Again, it was so nice to just have some time with these women without kids, husbands, or other distractions. So relaxing!

The girl giving me my pedicure was coincidentally someone Ryan knew from high school! She is also a strong, Christian woman, which made the morning even more fun to know that God had orchestrated even that time together!

After breakfast, they had another surprise for me - pedicures at a spa downtown! This has always been my dream - to go to a spa with a group of women and all get spoiled together. I've just never made it happen, and I love that Dalia organized it without even knowing how extra special that experience would be for me. They only had three pedicure stations, so Natalie, Kerri, and I went first, and then Dalia and Patty went second. We all chose pretty different colors. I was feeling a shimmery purple color, while Kerri took a change on a fun coral/orange color, which is what I typically pick this time of year. Dalia chose a very glittery pink, while Patty and Natalie picked shades of red. We had a great time just chatting away! I think men would be amazed at the number of subjects and conversations that women can have in a short time together. The morning was full of smiles and laughing, delicious food, and spa treatment. I couldn't have dreamed of a better surprise with the girls! They also gave me two free house cleaning sessions, which I will surely take advantage of by the end of May. Thanks again for such a wonderful gift and experience, friends! I am so grateful for all that you did to make our time together so special!

Natalie and me

It has become apparent to me that God brings different people in our your life at different times for different reasons. Dalia and I quickly became friends while training for the Bourbon Chase, and the longer I know her, the more I realize we have in common. She truly feels like my sister, like we were cut from the same mold. When something comes up for which I really want/need prayer, I call her because I know she will pray her heart out! So many times, I see those prayers answered, and without a doubt it's because "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective" (James 5:16). Thank you, Dalia, for planning such a special day to celebrate the upcoming birth of this baby boy!

Patty and I also met during Bourbon Chase and survived 200 miles across Kentucky together in the same van! For those of you who have endured those conditions in a major race, you can understand the accomplishment! :) Our friendship has grown through the course of our Bible study group, and I love the way she strives to be a strong, Christian woman. This especially is evident in her awesome marriage! Her passion for everything - her work as a photographer, her marriage, her faith, her friends - is something that I easily connect with and love to see in her!

Natalie and I met in December 2009 through Dalia, and when we joined their Bible study group, our friendship began to grow. From the day we met, I have always loved being around her contagious happiness and genuine sweetness. Natalie shows so much determination in her job and her role as a mother/wife, striving to be the best that she can be. I admire the steps she takes to improve the life of her family. It really pushes me to look at my own life and take the necessary steps I need to accomplish in order to better relationships and situations around me!

Kerri and her husband are the newest couple to join our group (October 2010), and from the first meeting, I knew that they were the couple that would make our group complete. Kerri is easily one of the sweetest, warmest people I know. Although in many ways I am still getting to know her, I feel like I've known her soul for decades. Does that make sense? I think sometimes when you meet a sister in Christ, you have this automatic connection with one another, not just because you have your faith in common, but because it is a tie that truly binds you to one another. I admire Kerri's eagerness for growth and look forward to seeing God continue His work in her life!

All in all, it was a perfect weekend with friends! Ryan and I didn't pick up Noah until about 5 p.m. on Saturday. We have never been in town and had him be away for so long. It felt strange being home without him, but Ryan and I had a great time both when we were together and when we were apart. Pretty soon our lives will change in ways we can't predict as this next chapter begins. I will treasure this past weekend for months and years to come!

Operation Potty Training: Over and Out

2011-04-10T16:50:00.001-04:00

Noah getting ready to bounce at the mall - one of his rewards during our journey!

When I look back on my past (almost) 3 years of parenting, I would say that potty training was maybe the only part that was blah for me! Check out Part I and Part II if you're interested in our journey with potty training. Noah has been using a small froggy potty since January 2011 to go #2, and Ryan and I have both felt very tired of cleaning that potty every day. However, knowing the lengths it took to get us here, I wasn't going to push anything. While I was away for a couple hours, Ryan started talking to Noah about going poo on the big potty. After I got home, Ryan suggested that we make another sticker chart for Noah where he had to earn 15 stickers, maybe we could make a chart with 4 places for stickers. Although I had my doubts that Noah would actually use the regular potty, I was excited about the idea and motivation we were providing for him. He could have the Toy Story 2 DVD if he earned 4 stickers.

That very evening, he said he had to go, so I put him on the big potty. He didn't go and said he wanted back down. I thought to myself, "Here we go again...." Well, minutes later, he said he had to go, and I put him back on there. Sure enough, he started going and went like a champion! We gave him a sticker, and he seemed happy with himself! Each day following that, he earned another sticker and another sticker. Then yesterday, while he was staying with my mom, he even went on her potty! Now that was a serious first because Noah won't go anywhere but our house with the exception of my dad and Danette's a time or two on the froggy potty. Needless to say, he earned his fourth sticker, and after picking him up, we took him to the store to buy Toy Story 2 and watched it last night before bed. This journey began in July....picked back up in January...and is now complete in April. It sounds like a long time, but because he rarely had accidents, it hasn't felt like that long. He's officially a big boy - almost 3 years old - just in time for us to start all over with a newborn baby boy.

I can't wait!

Loving it!

36 Weeks

2011-04-07T17:52:00.000-04:00

On Monday we officially hit the 36 week mark. I look back on this pregnancy and kind of feel like I've been pregnant forever. Some parts of it were very difficult - the first 17 weeks of nausea, and the rest has really been wonderful! The weeks throughout the holidays went very quickly, while chunks of time have gone so slowly. Regardless, we are four days away from being considered full term, and little baby boy could make his appearance anywhere between now and May 16th (2 weeks after my due date). That's right - due dates are not an end point but rather a median between 38 and 42 weeks when it's considered a "normal" time to give birth. A lot of people don't realize that and start questioning women about why their babies haven't arrived yet as their due date gets closer and closer. The 40 week mark is just a median - not the time that the baby will arrive. :)

Anyway, off my soapbox now - I am feeling really great still! I can tell that I'm slowing down a bit sooner in the evenings than in previous weeks. I sleep all night long with the exception of getting up once to use the restroom. I count my blessings everyday for this great sleep! I have Braxton Hicks contractions ALL THE TIME, and when I looked back at my posts when I was 36 weeks with Noah, the same was true even then. They don't hurt at all but are sometimes annoying more than anything. I have been sitting on my birth ball a lot lately because it's just so much more comfortable and because I can feel the baby moving more into place. We have our Rock of Ages show next Thursday nights with some friends, and after that, he is welcome to make his appearance anytime!

I am pages away from finishing Your Best Birth and am thankful to have read about all the reminders of why we strive for a natural birth. (Side note - I really encourage all women to read books about birth both before and during pregnancy! It is so important to educate yourselves about birth, as well as the benefits and risks of medical intervention in birth rather than just taking your practitioner's word on everything. It is one of the best ways you can take care of yourself during pregnancy, and let's be honest, you deserve royal treatment for bringing new life into this world). It's really helped me mentally prepare for this upcoming adventure, and although it might sound crazy, I am actually excited about going into labor and delivering this baby! It is probably the most empowering experience I've ever had, one that made me feel connected to women all over the world in a way I had never felt before. I showed Noah the birth story with pictures that our doula, Julie, made for us after he was born. He was pretty fascinated with seeing pictures of himself after he was born. I'm so interested to see how my labor progresses this second time around. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect experience the first time - yes, even with the intensity and pain that comes with transitional labor - and can't wait to share another birth story with all of you again. Until next time, enjoy these newest pictures of me at 36 weeks!

Maternity Photo Shoot

2011-03-31T16:49:00.002-04:00

When we were pregnant with Noah, we captured how I looked at 30 weeks by getting maternity pictures taken. I still cherish those pictures and wanted to make it a priority to get pictures taken again for this pregnancy. My friend, Jessica Limeberry, is a phenomenal photographer, and I was SO excited when we set up a date and time for a maternity photo shoot. Jess has quickly become one of my closest friends in Greenwood since we met a couple years ago. Sometimes I think we are living parallel lives because we have sons who were born 4 months apart, and now we are both pregnant with boys whose due dates are 9 days apart. Wild, huh?

Anyway, this was the third photo shoot we have done with Jessica. The first time was during Christmas 2009, and the second time was for Noah's 2 year pictures. Not only do I love how these maternity pictures turned out, but she is going to take Baby #2's newborn photos soon after he is born. I love working with a friend on these projects because I absolutely have no range in expression, and I feel absolutely silly in front of a camera by myself. Somehow, even with my awkwardness and 33 week belly, she captured so many beautiful shots! I'll highlight some of my favorites below.

Thanks again, Jess, for helping us capture this time in our lives! Please check out Jessica's website at http://lemongrassphotography.com/ to see more of her amazing work!

Preparing for the Big Day

2011-03-27T16:36:00.003-04:00

This week I have been thinking more and more about Baby #2's BIRTHday. I have been wavering back and forth between feeling a little anxious to give birth again to feeling absolutely up to the challenge! For the most part, though, I really do feel more mentally prepared and excited to go through this amazing experience all over again. Last night, I finally watched The Business of Being Born. Seeing that documentary and watching the different women give birth, typically in a natural fashion, I feel empowered and am reminded of why I am striving to have another natural birth with this baby. I am also so much more hopeful that we can have a water birth this time!

Giving birth in our country has really became a medical event, one in which doctors and nurses are constantly monitoring, judging,and making decisions based on their protocols or time tables rather than allowing the natural process that God created to take place (uh oh - I'm standing on my soapbox - watch out!). In my heart, I truly believe that giving birth is most typically a very natural phenomenom, and if we just let things happen on their own timelines, things tend to go well for most women. Are there situations where medical intervention is required? Absolutely! I am thankful for the training that doctors and nurses receive that help deal with that small percentage of women who need medical treatment in order to safely give birth. For the large majority of women, I wish hospitals, doctors, and nurses would just allow things to progress on their own. If women want an epidural, so be it. Let that be their choice, but please explain ahead of time (prior to going into labor) both the benefits and risks of having one. Typically, one medical intervention leads to another and then another and so on. Before you know it, the medical staff is completely managing the birth process rather than just letting nature take its course. Ok, I'm stepping off my soapbox. I truly don't want to offend anyone, but I wish that we women would be more invested in learning about the birth process from both natural and medical aspects. Then, once we are completely educated on what truly is one of the most important events of our lives, then we can make whatever decision we feel like is right for us. If we're going to spend hours planning a vacation - researching things to do, places to stay, etc. - or buying a new item for our homes, we should give birth the same if not more time and effort. To give you an idea of what our birth preference letter looks like, see below:

Our goal is to give birth to a healthy child while having as natural a birth as possible. Our definition of natural includes the following:

Allowing labor to progress naturally without the use of inducing agents such as Pitocin.
Natural rupture of the amniotic sack
Intermittent fetal monitoring and freedom of movement
Allowing the use of snacks/drinks rather than IV fluids for nourishment
Labor and delivery without the use of anesthesia. Please do not offer any pain reducing agents.
For pain management, Amy and Ryan may use the following: aromatherapy, birth ball, breathing, focal point/visualization, hot/cold compresses, counter-pressure/massage, prayer, shower, and the birthing tub.
Allowing the perineum to tear naturally if necessary rather than undergoing an episiotomy. If massage of the perineum can help prevent tearing, this is encouraged.
Amy may want to utilize the birthing tub during delivery.
Waiting until the umbilical cord has stopped pulsing before cutting it and placing the baby on Amy after birth. Please ask Ryan if he would like to cut the cord.
Allowing Ryan to be present during any checks and treatment done to the baby. Explaining any procedures you do is very much appreciated.

After the baby is born, Amy is planning to breastfeed. Please do not give the baby any fluids, bottles, or pacifiers during our stay at the hospital. Ryan and Amy would like to help with giving the baby its first bath after both new parents have had the opportunity to bond with the baby. We are planning to have the baby room in with us in order to help establish breastfeeding and to get to know our new baby.

We would like all procedures explained to us, including the benefits and risks. Please consider the following medical interventions as a last resort:

Using labor inducing agents
Episiotomy
The use of forceps or vacuum extraction
Caesarian section

We understand that medical interventions are necessary in certain situations and would only like for them to be used in high-risk situations. We want to thank you for your understanding, support, and encouragement during the birth of our second baby.

To be honest, I think I would be 100% fine having a home birth and avoiding the hospital setting altogether, especially after having been through this process once before. I know Ryan is more comfortable being at the hospital, and I do respect his feelings, so we compromise! :) Of course not knowing when my labor will begin or how things will progress can make me feel anxious, but I do...

TRUST that my body was perfectly created to give birth to this baby
BELIEVE that my labor will begin in God's perfect timing
FEEL that I will be in safe hands with Ryan, our doula (Julie Pichon), and my OB (Dr. Soper)
KNOW that I've chosen to deliver at a hospital that respects and encourages natural birth and breastfeeding

When I remember those things, the anxiety melts away, and I feel very excited about what lies ahead!!! We're 35 weeks tomorrow, and I am so happy to be one week closer to the arrival of Baby #2.

Crown Moulding

2011-03-22T13:45:00.000-04:00

We've lived in our house for almost 5 years, and while we've painted, decorated, and made ourselves nice and cozy here, I have been dying to put up crown moulding. We don't live in a custom home, and I've always felt that this simple addition could really add some character and finishing quality to our house. We worked with a guy named Cory Fredricks, who had done a lot of work for family members. They were really pleased with the work he did, so we started there. He quickly gave us an estimate, which is coincidentally the number I had in my head when looking into this project. We went to Lowe's, Home Depot, and Menards to price out crown moulding. I was so glad to see that there was really only one design option for the size/type of moulding we needed (primed pine). What was amazing was the price difference! At Lowe's and Menards, it cost $15 for a 12 foot board, and we needed 275 feet of crown moulding. At Home Depot, they had ProPacks, which were packs of five 12 foot boards, for only $42. This brought the price of crown moulding down from $345 to only $210 (5 ProPacks = 300 ft. crown moulding). Not bad at all, right? I am telling you the price because I really thought this was going to be an expensive upgrade, but after finishing our project, I have realized that it is totally affordable. Now you can go bug your spouse into letting you do it, too! Here are our before pictures:

After pictures...drum roll please!

This is one of my favorite parts - the crown moulding on the columns - completed changed the look!

What do you think?? Let me know you want Cory's contact information. He does all sorts of projects, and I highly recommend him!

33 Weeks!

2011-03-15T21:45:00.000-04:00

Yesterday we hit the 33 week mark! Time seemed to just creep by until we hit 30 weeks. Now the clock is ticking away, and I can feel the birth of this baby getting closer and closer! I was a bit concerned that this little guy was not going to turn head down, mostly because he seemed to have his head in my ribs for much longer than Noah did. However, the day we hit the 31 week mark, this little bambino was moving around like ever before! I had Ryan put his hand on my belly, and we both were amazed at the way he was pushing and moving all over the place. Then, suddenly, we both felt a big BLURP!!! It was totally creepy the way I could feel him flip over inside me (I never felt Noah turn head down) - at least that was my guess at the time. I even said to Ryan, "If that wasn't him flipping over head down, I have no idea what that was." Everything felt different inside. I could actually breathe again! We went to see Dr. Soper the next morning for our routine check up, and she confirmed that he was head down. Now let's just hope he stays that way! At that appointment, I had only gained a half of a pound since my appointment 3 weeks prior, so I was excited about that! I will go back next Tuesday, so we will see what the scale says. We don't keep one in the house because I don't want to obsess about my weight, so it's always a surprise to see how things are measuring up when we go to the doctor's office.

Overall, I am feeling really well still! I have moments of discomfort - mostly between 8:00 and 10:30 p.m. I am sleeping really well, sometimes all the way through the night without waking up. I'm going to just enjoy that while it lasts. Sometimes I worry how I'll cope with having to wake up for middle of the night feedings and then have to take care of a toddler in the morning, too. In the end, though, I know millions of other women have done this for years and years and years. I'll be able to do it, too! Thank goodness I don't have to return to work until next school year. That will hopefully give me plenty of time to adjust (approximately 4 months) before I return to work. I count my blessings everyday for the way things have turned out. :)

We had a meeting with Julie Pichon, our doula, last Tuesday night. I was hoping that it would help get my mind refocused on birth and start me in my mental preparation for what will hopefully be another natural birth. After having several conversations throughout the evening, I truly feel like I turned a corner, mentally, and am beginning to prepare more for this baby's birth day. Julie gave me a book called Your Best Birth to help me prepare, and I'm really enjoying it so far. I have The Business of Being Born on my Netflix Instant Queue, which will compliment the book perfectly, and I can't wait to watch it. So many people have a hard time understanding why I would ever want to have a natural birth, but after reading many books it was difficult to imagine doing it any other way. I am so hopeful that everything will go well for this birth! I rewrote our birth preferences, which are pretty much the same with one addition. Now that I am having my second child, as long as everything is going well, I would like to deliver in the water, too. My labor progressed so much more quickly after getting in the huge labor tub last time! In my perfect scenario, I will be a good 5 cm when I get to the hospital. I'll jump straight into the tub and deliver in the water. I asked Ryan if he would want to get in with me for that part, and although I know it's not his first preference, he did say that if it meant that much to me, he would do it. :) I guess we will see what happens! Wouldn't that be a fun blog post to read?!

This Saturday my friend, Jessica, from Lemongrass Photography is taking maternity pictures of us. She has taken some great pictures for us in the past, and I can't wait to see how these turn out - glorious belly and all. I will make sure to post some in the next few weeks.

Nothing else is really new. I have two weeks left of work - then a week off for Spring Break - and then two more weeks of work. Then I am full term. People keep laughing, but I have a feeling this little guy is going to make his appearance sometime between April 16-23rd. Last time I guessed May 16th with Noah, and I was only 45 minutes off (11:15 p.m. on May 15th). Time will tell! I'm trying to get things finished up at work so that when I leave, I don't have any worries about the rest of the school year.

As each day passes, I get more and more excited to see our second son's little face. He is moving and stretching as we speak. I will miss these movements for sure, especially when we have no idea if more children are in our future or if this is it for us. Again, time will tell! In closing, enjoy these pictures of me at 32 and 33 weeks!

When the Cat's Away...

2011-03-06T11:37:00.000-05:00

The mice will play!

This is a picture Ryan sent me while I was away overnight visiting my friend Sara in Madison, IN, where we went to school together. I was cracking up! Only a daddy would think to sent up the HUGE tent in the living room and play inside. They had a really great time together while I was away. Ryan really has exceeded my hopes for the kind of dad he would be for our children. It makes me love him that much more!

A Good Cry

2011-02-27T19:46:00.000-05:00

How long has it been since you had a really good cry? You know, one of those cries where you are sobbing loudly and making those noises that you're embarrassed you can create? Well, it has been a VERY long time since I cried like that - until this afternoon, that is. I was driving to a baby shower with Noah in his carseat when we drove by our vet's office. Almost immediately, the tears began streaming down my face. I have only been to the vet's office one time since we said goodbye to Layla (click for link to story), and everything hit me like a ton of bricks - a very surprising ton of bricks.

When Layla's seizures became too severe for her health, we had to make the difficult decision to say goodbye. I can't bring myself to say "put her to sleep" or anything like that because it's just too painful. We said our goodbyes to her on May 22, 2008, just 7 short days after Noah was born. For reasons we may never know, her biweekly seizures progressed to cluster seizures overnight. We have our suspicions that she had a brain tumor, but again, we'll never know for sure.

So there I am, tears streaming down my face on the way a baby shower, trying to hide how I feel from Noah. I don't mind if he sees me cry, but I needed to put those feelings aside before I became a total wreck. Since Ryan picked Noah up about 30 minutes before I left the shower to come home, I didn't have that same excuse not to cry. The second time of passing the vet's office was torture. I saw the exact spot outside where the vet gave Layla medicine so that she could be free from the seizures...where I felt her soul leave us forever. The memories came rushing back to me - memories I hadn't fully experienced since the weeks after she died. I was remembering the last hours we played with her in the back yard. I thought about how we told Kya to say goodbye to her before we left the house, explaining that she would never see her best friend again here on Earth. Kya kissed Layla all over her face before we left, and those images again replayed in my head. I remember the drive to the vet's office, crying the entire way there but not taking my hands off our sweet dog. I thought about Ryan carrying Layla to the grassy spot that we picked to say our goodbyes, knowing she would be too scared to go inside the office. We wanted her last minutes with us to be happy, peaceful ones. I remember holding her tightly and Ryan laying his head on her when the vet gave her the medicine, and it was as if I could feel her spirit ascend. She was gone.

Those memories flooded my mind as I drove home, and I couldn't stop the tears, sobs, and all that comes with a cry that hard from pouring out of me. For those of you who have never loved an animal, this won't make sense. But for us, we loved Layla as much as we could love anything. She had the sweetest, purest soul you can imagine, and when I think of the day that heaven is in my sight, I believe with my whole heart that Layla will be the first one to meet me there with her tail wagging and her tongue licking my whole face! That image always makes me smile.

Layla's been gone for over 2 years and 9 months. She was only 2 years, 7 months old when we said our goodbyes. She has been gone for longer than we knew her, and still, Layla's gentle nature, sweet soul, and loving personality stay with me every day. I am sad that Noah will never know her, and that his little baby brother didn't even get the few days that Noah had with her. To say I miss Layla is not enough. I truly long for her and look forward to the day when we can play together in green grass under beautiful rays of sunshine.

Babymoon 2011: Chicago

2011-02-24T16:47:00.001-05:00

Sometime mid-January, Ryan told me not to make plans for February 11-13th, but he wouldn't tell me why. About two weeks before the surprise was revealed, I asked if this was a special weekend for the two of us or one that Noah would be joining us. I wanted to know because I needed to get some expectations in line - was I going to be a mom and wife that weekend or just a hopeless romantic wife? When he said Noah would not be joining us, I have to admit, I was really excited! Time away with Ryan for an entire weekend sounded too goo to be true! He kept the destination a secret up until the Sunday before we to leave, when he accidentally slipped that we were going to Chicago! We hadn't been on a trip to Chicago for several years, and I was excited to get away!

My dad and Danette arrived at our house around 9 a.m. on Friday. After visiting a bit and sharing information about Noah, we were out the door. The drive up was wonderfully relaxing! We just enjoyed the alone time being able to talk without interruptions. I was craving pancakes, so we made a quick stop at IHOP for lunch. Their blueberry pancakes hit the spot! We drove the rest of the way to Chicago and stopped at The Museum of Science and Industry as soon as we got into the city. There was quite a bit of snow in Chicago already, but more was pouring down out of the sky. We accidentally turned onto what I thought was a road to the parking lot but ended up possibly being a walkway. OOPS! It made for a good laugh! We paid for parking and walked inside the museum. There was no one in line to buy tickets, which made me remember that they closed at 4 p.m, and it was already 3:30 p.m. CRAP. This trip was not starting off as planned! We rolled with it, got back in the Jeep, and drove to our hotel.

The Affinia hotel is located on Superior just off Michigan Ave., and it proved to be a great location! We freshened up and decided to shop a big before our dinner reservation that evening. We went into the Disney store and had so much fun picking things out for Noah! We almost never buy him toys or presents except for his birthday, Christmas, and Easter, so it was fun picking out some different things for him. We decided to actually purchase everything the next day so that we didn't have to go back to our hotel. It's hard to believe that we will be buying souvenirs for two boy by the time we take our next trip.

As we left the store, Ryan pointed out Tiffany & Co. He and I had been there only one time before when we were just dating, and I had tried on an $11,000 emerald cut diamond engagement ring. We both nearly fainted that day, and I was so surprised to hear Ryan say that he wanted me to pick something out that day. I am not someone who puts a lot of value in material things. I have a few things that are dear to me including my engagement ring and wedding band, my emerald (Noah's birth stone) and diamond ring that Ryan got me for my first Mother's Day, a pair of diamond earrings that he bought me a few years ago, my cross necklace, and our pictures. Clothing, purses, shoes, etc. have just never meant all that much to me. We walked into Tiffany's and glanced at the jewelry on the first floor. Then we went upstairs to look around, and the first thing I saw was a necklace with a lower-case, cursive "a." It was very elegant yet simple, and I thought, that might just be the one. We looked around and had the lady helping us show us a few other necklaces, but I didn't care for anything else I saw. We went back to the first necklace, and I tried it on. It was really perfect! I told Ryan that I wanted to wait and think it over before we bought it. That's me trying to keep balance and practicality in our lives!

We took a cab over to Wildfire, a steak, seafood, and chops restaurant off Erie and LaSalle. During the cab ride, I looked at the clock and saw that it was an hour earlier than what we thought. Oh no! We forgot to change our watches, and for some reason, my cell phone hadn't automatically changed time zones. That means we could have gone to the museum afterall, and we had more time to shop on Michigan Avenue than we thought. You'd think we never left the house! Unfortunately, there was really nothing to do in that part of town. We were pretty cold and decided to grab some coffee and hot chocolate nearby and go into a store called Sports Authority. Ryan looked around at the running gear while I relaxed for a bit. We killed a good hour there before walking over to Wildfire.

At Sports Authority capturing the moment

When we walked into Wildfire, I knew Ryan had chosen the perfect place. It had a very Sinatra feel to it, lots of dark wood, mirrors, black-and-white photos. Our table was located in the very middle of the restaurant, and the open kitchen was nearby. They had several fireplaces lit, which gave the restaurant a really cozy feeling. There were so many tempting dishes on the menu, and I was sad we weren't there one day later because Filet Wellington was on the menu, and it's something I've always wanted to try. I decided to get a Petite Filet and macaroni and cheese because for those who know me at all know that I am all about trying macaroni and cheese everywhere I go in search of who offers the best one. Ryan chose the Porterhouse with mashed potatoes. We enjoyed more alone time while we waited on our dinner but couldn't help but notice the adorable 18 month old boy at the table next to us. I can't imagine taking Noah to a restaurant like that, but this little guy was so well-behaved the entire time. Our food arrived shortly after, and it was absolutely perfect. My mouth is watering just remembing the flavors! The macaroni and cheese had some type of spicy cheese in it, which gave it the perfect kick to compliment my delicious steak. For dessert, we ordered a dish that had a small piece of peanut butter pie, key lime pie, and chocolate cake - a sampler if you will - and we enjoyed every bite.

After dinner we jumped in another cab and took a ride north to a place called Blokes & Birds to meet up with our friends Jo and Pete Scott from Hanover. We only get to see them once in a great while, so we really treasure the time we have together! Jo and Pete arrived shortly after us, and we spent the next hour and half catching up and hearing about their latest trip back to Lebidoti, where they were Peace Corp volunteers for over 2 years. Then, fortune and fame began calling Jo's name, and she had to run out the door to prepare for Geek Show at The Playground Theatre where she performs with an improv team. Ryan and I made our way over there a few minutes later, grabbed the best seats in the house, and excitedly awaited the show. I had never seen Jo perform, and you start to worry, "What if it isn't any good? What will I say to her? What if I don't laugh?" Well, truth be told, it was a HILARIOUS show, and I didn't need to pretend to like it because I really loved it! Of course, she was a star and stole the show. For those of you who know Jo, I'm sure you're surprised! We had a great time and were sad to say goodbye after the show ended. We crashed at the hotel but couldn't wait to start another day of fun together.

Saturday morning we grabbed a quick bite to eat and jumped on the subway down to Pizano's, our first stop for our Chicago Pizza Tour. The Food Network and Travel Channel always have shows on New York City pizza versus Chicago Pizza, and finally we were going to have the chance to decide for ourselves which one we preferred. We had taken the Brooklyn Pizza Tour last May when I surprised Ryan with a trip to NYC for his 30th birthday. We enjoyed pizza at Pizano's at the Loop, Apart Pizza at Lincoln Square, Coalfire Pizza in West Town (supposedly comparable to Grimaldi's, which we had in Brooklyn), and Gino's East at River North. The pizza was delicious everywhere we went, and although we had some interesting people on the tour with us, we really enjoyed the experience together! At the end of the day, we are Brooklyn Pizza People all the way! :) See below for a photo tour of our experience.

With our bellies full of delicious pizza, we left Gino's East and went back to Michigan Avenue for more shopping. Our first stop was the Disney Store to get Noah some Buzz Lightyear and Woody pajamas, a Toy Story placemat, and four Toy Story mini stuffed animals (Woody, Buzz, Bullseye, and Jessie). Next, we went back to Tiffany's because I had officially fallen in love with the necklace. It will be such a special piece of jewelry that will always remind me of our babymoon together.

We made a few more stops at Crate & Barrel, Niketown, and Garrett's Popcorn. I cannot explain how much I LOVE this popcorn! Two gallons of popcorn is around $65 after tax, and I GLADLY spent that! This is coming from the Dave Ramsey-loving, stick-to-the-budget, coupon-cutting me. That should tell you how good this popcorn is. I have eaten almost half of it since we've been home, and I'm beginning to panic about what I'll do when it's all gone. So, if any of you are going to be in Chicago anytime in the next few months, I will pay you to get me more popcorn. :)

We went back to the hotel again and took a quick power nap because we had a fun night ahead of us. Ryan had bought us tickets to see Les Miserables at the Cadillac Palace Theatre. Neither of us had ever seen the show, and I didn't have any expectations going into it. Les Mis ended up being one the most emotional Broadway production I've ever seen. The guy who played Jean Valjean, the main character, was truly incredible! He probably had the best voice I've ever heard in a production like that. I couldn't hear every word in the songs, but I could follow the greater story and emotions of the characters throughout the entire show. The end of the show was so beautiful and moving that it brought tears to my eyes. That was definitely a first for me! Ryan really enjoyed the show, too, and I left the theatre feeling like I had fallen in love all over again. I know - mushy. :)

Because we were so full after the pizza tour, we skipped dinner before the show. By the time the show ended, we were both ready to eat again! Hoping that room service was still available, we rushed back to the hotel, but they had already closed the kitchen for the night. We ended up at a place called Jake Melnick's down the street from our hotel. We grabbed a couple chicken sandwiches and tried to fight the urge to fall asleep. We had had a big day! By the time we got back to the hotel, we were completely exhausted!

Ryan at Jake Melnicks

The next morning went by quickly. After grabbing a quick bite to eat at McDonalds, we stopped at the Hershey store and found Noah a little Toolbox filled with chocolates. He loves hiding his "treasure" inside different containers and knew he would love it. Then we ran back to Niketown to buy Ryan some Nike Free running shoes and a fun Nike shirt. We went back to the hotel, packed up, and checked out. The weekend had been everything we hoped it would be, and the time together was priceless. I know it is going to be much harder for us to find that alone time together once Bambino arrives this Spring - at least until he's on a "normal" sleeping schedule. Ryan planned the entire weekend himself, and he did a fabulous job! It was a perfect surprise, and it makes me excited for our next trip together!

29 Weeks

2011-02-14T10:09:00.000-05:00

Today we hit the 29 week mark! I have to admit, though, that these pictures are of me at 28 weeks. Twenty eight weeks, twenty nine weeks...what's the difference, right? I am officially in my third trimester(HOORAY!), and my "What to Expect" app on my phone says that the baby is approximately 17 inches long and 2.9 lbs. That means this little bambino has almost reached his full height already but still needs to gain some weight before birth. He's one long string bean right now! I can feel him moving all throughout the day. Some of his favorites include pushing up against my ribs on my right side and tapping my left hip bone. Now that is the strangest feeling! I can tell he is getting stronger and stronger week after week. Every movement makes me all the more anxious to meet him! I am trying to enjoy these last 9-13 weeks of pregnancy, but to be honest, I am just ready for baby boy #2 to be in my arms!

Just like with my pregnancy with Noah, I am having Braxton Hicks contractions ALL THE TIME. It definitely gets worse at night, but I do have them throughout the day. I am still feeling pretty comfortable - no major back aches, sciatic nerve pinching, or chronic pelvic bone discomfort yet. My belly feels tired by about the time we put Noah to bed, and my legs are starting to swell a bit each day. Other than that, I really feel pretty well! We're pretty sure we've chosen a name for this little guy, but we're keeping it pretty hush hush still. I am so curious to know what he's going to look like - how similar or different he will be in comparison to Noah. I imagine a more olive-skinned, brown haired, brown-eyed baby, but time will tell!

We have another prenatal appointment tomorrow morning, and then I believe we'll start going every two weeks. I didn't get to go to my 27 week appointment because of the ice storm, so it has been six weeks since we've seen the doctor. I'm anxious to see how much weight I've gained - especially after our pizza tour in Chicago this weekend - and to hear his little heart beating. We also have an appointment with our doula, Julie Pichon, the first week of March. Hopefully that will help me start getting in the right mindset to get this little bambino out come Spring! We are hoping and praying for another smooth labor and delivery, one without any medical intervention. Our experience was so good (difficult but still incredible!) last time, and I hope we can say the same after this little guy arrives. As much as I am wanting time to go by quickly so that we can meet our new son, I'm still enjoying every moment I have with just Ryan, Noah, and Kya, knowing it will never be just the four of us again. Sometimes I get a little teary about that, but most of the time, I'm just excited about what is yet to come.

Ice Storm 2011

2011-02-07T10:20:00.000-05:00

Wow! Last week was wild! Noah and I went grocery shopping at Kroger and Meijer with our grocery game lists. I worried that the stores would be insanely busy with the impending winter storm, but they really weren't too bad that morning. I let Noah watch Toy Story 2 on an iPod while we went shopping, which provided the perfect distraction for him so that I could shop in peace and quiet! :) I can't imagine grocery shopping with him any other way. It's just so convenient. He enjoys himself, and I can be productive! With coupons and sales at the grocery stores, we spent $75 and saved $96! Yep, that hour of preparation and organization before we left was definitely worth my time!

After Ryan got home Monday night, I made a quick run to Target because they were having a great sale on baby items. I stocked up on more diapers, wipes, pacifiers, and snack traps. There were only 4 lanes open when I went to check out, and it took forever! By the time I was FINALLY through the line, they had 11 lanes open. Everyone had three items in their cart - milk, bread, and toilet paper! I'm not talking about a pack of 4 or 8 rolls of TP...we're talking the mega value pack of 32 rolls of toilet paper. Seriously, what were people planning to do during the ice storm?? :) I made one more stop at CVS for to pick up five 12 packs of Coke products because you could get them for $2 each after their sale, which is my price point for buying soda. We stock up when it hits $2 a 12 pack.

That was the last time I breathed fresh air outside my home for the next 3 1/2 days!

I spent Tuesday at home with Noah, while Ryan got a bunch of work done from home. We filed our tax return that day, which was a great item to check off our to do list! Wednesday school was cancelled, so I was home again. By the end of the day, I had done all the normal things around the house, but I also cleaned and organized a couple closets. Ryan and I have felt really convicted of ~~spending~~ wasting $100 on satellite TV. For the most part, we only watch the basic channels, Disney, PBS, and ESPN. So we had to ask ourselves why we were paying $100 a month. Ryan found an antenna and installed it in the attic. I got us signed up on Netflix and figured out how to stream it through our Nintendo Wii. We will only spend $10 a month this way rather than $100. That frees up $90 more to put in the boys college funds, which is always exciting!

School was cancelled again Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, so that gave me the entire week to spend with Noah!

If you remember from my last update on potty training, Noah had earned all of his stickers to go to Chuck E Cheese. He and I both REALLY needed to get out of the house by Friday night (again, I had been in the house since Monday night. I couldn't even go get the mail because there was such a thick layer of ice on the ground. I couldn't risk falling.). So, when Ryan got home from work, we went to Chuck E Cheese and ordered a pepperoni pizza, a salad bar, and got a bunch of tokens for Noah. After about 30 minutes or so, our friends Kevin and Dalia and their little girl, Ava, joined the fun! Noah had specifically said that he wanted Kevin to come to Chuck E Cheese, and they were nice enough to oblige. For the first time, Noah went up in the tunnels a few times, though he had no desire to go down the slide. We were probably there for a good 3 hours, and it was definitely the most fun we've ever had there!

The next morning, we took Noah to the Children's Museum because members get in an hour early the first Saturday of the month. We've never gone on a Saturday because I always fear how busy it will be, and boy was it busy! I have NEVER, EVER seen the museum so busy! They were opening a new Dora and Diego exhibit, including a meet and greet with Dora and Diego themselves, so that probably didn't help. We didn't even attempt to go to that part of the museum. I'll take Noah on random Tuesday sometime, and there will be like 5 other kids in the whole exhibit. That's more my style! We had a really nice time being there as a family and look forward to going again soon!

We survived the Ice Storm of 2011 and really had a lot of fun - and even got a lot of things accomplished! The ground is still covered in ice, but it's melting a bit more each day. I know by the time we are a family of four, I will really cherish this past week that I had with just Ryan, Noah, and Kya. I'll miss these days but also am so excited to meet our little man soon.

Potato Soup

2011-01-31T13:25:00.000-05:00

After making at least 5-10 different recipes, I think I finally found the perfect one! It was delicious. I hope your families enjoy it as much as mine did.

Ingrediants:
3 bacon strips, diced

1 small onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon pepper
3 cups chicken broth
2 large baked potatoes, peeled and cubed
1 cup half-and-half cream
1/2 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
Shredded Cheddar cheese
Green onions

Directions:
In a large saucepan, cook bacon until crisp. Drain, reserving 1 tablespoon drippings. Set bacon aside. Saute onion and garlic in the drippings until tender. Stir in flour, salt, basil and pepper; mix well. Gradually add broth. Bring to boil; boil and stir for 2 minutes. Add the potatoes, cream and hot pepper sauce; heat through but do not boil. Garnish with bacon, cheese and green onions.

Here are some of my other favorite cooking/baking blogs:

Pioneer Woman Cooks - I can't say enough wonderful things about this blog! I use her recipes all the time. If you like her style of cookin, just buy her cookbook. You won't regret it. I've read it cover to cover!

Our Best Bites - I stumbled up on this one around Christmas

Bake at 350 - Great blog for cookie recipes/ideas!

Bakerella - For you cake pop lovers!

Potty Training - Part II

2011-01-27T21:54:00.000-05:00

Back in the fall, I wrote about our adventures with potty training Noah - let's call it, Part I. As much as I didn't enjoy being home for almost an entire week straight in July, he really did well with it! He has been wearing his under-roos for six months now and had only one accident in the past 3 months. Because he was still so young, I was still having him wear a diaper during his naps and at bedtime. Although he consistently went #2 on the potty the first week of October (rather in a diaper at naptime), he regressed back to going in his diaper at naptime, saying he was afraid to go on the potty. I could never figure out exactly what scared him, but he just didn't want to go on the potty. As long as he was going in his diaper - which he was - I didn't care a bit. I knew he'd get the potty thing eventually. After many battles early in potty training, I learned that you cannot make a child poo on the potty, no matter what you bribe, how hard you beg.

Well, I don't know what got into me the past weeks. Maybe it's being nearly six months pregnant. Maybe it's knowing hundreds of poopy diapers await my future with Baby #2, or maybe I've just lost patience. I just decided that it was time for him to go on the potty like a big kid. So, last Tuesday I took him to the Children's Museum with my friend, Dalia, and her little girl, Ava. He fell asleep on the way home, so I put him down for his nap in his under-roos. He woke up with clean pants, and I thought to myself, "This is your chance!" That night he said, "Mommy, I need to go poo-poo in my diaper." I said, "No, sorry, buddy. You're a big boy now, and you need to go on the potty."

Enter Tantrum #1.

I stuck to my guns through the tantrum and reminded him what a big boy he is now and that he can go in the potty. NOTHING. NO DICE. NO LUCK. He kept his pants clean all night, despite complaining that his tummy hurt. I told him that his tummy would feel better if he just went potty. Again, nothing.

All of the sudden...it hit me. Why hadn't I thought of this before? VIDEO SELF-MODELING!!! I use this to teach kids appropriate/desired behavior at school. Why not do it at home to teach Noah how to go #2 on the potty? Here is the idea behind video self-modeling. People learn certain behaviors all the time by watching others. Research indicates that watching others who are very similar in appearance, age, etc. will help a person learn a behavior even better. However, the most effective way for a person to learn a new behavior is to see themselves actually doing the desired behavior. So, rather than watch videos of cartoons, animals, or other children using the potty, I needed to show Noah a video of himself using the potty.

I quickly got out the new video camera we got for Christmas from my dad and Danette and told Noah we were going to make a fun "video show" (as he calls them) of him. I had him start in his playroom and video taped him playing with his kitchen. Then, I prompted him to stand up and say "I have to go poo poo in the potty!" Then he started running toward the bathroom. Then I stood in the kitchen and videotaped him running from the playroom to the kitchen. Next I stood in the bathroom and had him run from the beginning of the kitchen to the bathroom. In the next shot, I had him sit down on the potty and say, "I'm going potty." I have about 5 out-takes of him saying, "I am NOT going potty!" because he really wasn't going. I kept saying, "No, buddy, but you're pretending. Just pretend and say it." He just couldn't grasp the concept. I still don't know how we got a shot of him actually saying it! Then, we had him stand up and look back into the potty. Last, we had him put his hands in the air and yell, "I did it!" You should see our out-takes from this video taping session. HILARIOUS! Ryan then shot a quick video of some poo (which magically appeared) in the potty.

We downloaded all of the video to our computer, and I started editing using Windows Movie Maker, which is standard on all PCs. This program is very user friendly and makes editing a video a breeze. I began taking all of the separate video clips we had - there were probably 20 - and cutting out all of the stuff we didn't want in our final product. As I edited the pieces together, I realized that we missed a crucial step: Noah acting like he's pushing on the potty. Ryan grabbed the video camera and had Noah pretend to push. We quickly downloaded that video clip, and I inserted a piece of it into Noah's final video. I even added a title page at the beginning of the video and credits at the end.

When it came time for him to watch the video, he was SUPER engaged! I mean, what kid doesn't like to see himself on TV? When it came time for him to stand up off the potty and look back, his eyes got as big as silver dollars when he saw that poo in the potty!!! You could tell he was like, "WOW! Look what I did!" or maybe "Wow! How did that get there??" Either way, he was so excited and begged to watch it again and again. It's only 55 seconds long, and I think we watched it 5 times that night. I went to bed praying that tomorrow would be the day it would click.

The next morning, he woke up with a clean diaper, and Ryan took him to Dalia's for the day. He complained of a tummy ache again but still did not go at her house. On my way home from picking him up after work, I started second guessing myself. Was I expecting too much? Was he just not ready? Is there even such a thing as "not being ready?" I decided we would give it the rest of the week, and then we could reevaluate. I showed him the video 3 times when we got home because we were heading to our friends' (Leah and Joe Matis) house for dinner. We had all been hanging out, watching the kids play and visiting with each other for about an hour when Noah said, "Mommy, I have to go poo poo." He started running back to their bathroom (which was a HUGE deal because he didn't ask for a diaper), and I followed him. He wasn't on that potty more than 10 seconds before HE DID IT! I seriously could have cried tears of joy. In fact, I'm surprised I didn't. He said, "I want to show my daddy." So, I called Ryan back to the bathroom. We were both so proud of him!!! Noah got a round of applause and cheers of praise from Leah and Joe, too, when we walked back into their living room. I finally felt relief that maybe we were really heading in the right direction. I began thinking of all my friends' kids who could benefit from VSM, too, when they are ready for potty training. It was the only explanation for why he would go so quickly and easily after not going on the potty since October.

BUT...the next two days I felt defeated again. I was at work both times when it happened (yes, this is me being the control freak here), but he went in his diaper at naptime. I was really bummed out! So, on Saturday I put his mattress cover back on his bed and told him that the naptime diapers were all gone. He was a big boy, and he would need to keep his pants clean during his naps. Noah didn't go on Saturday despite our best efforts of encouraging him and having him watch his video. Then on Sunday, we were at his friend's birthday party, and he went upstairs to play. After a few minutes I went to check on him and knew as soon as I saw him that he had had an accident.

I was SO disappointed. Noah hadn't had an accident like that since at least October. He apologized several times, so I know he felt bad about it. Thankfully, Ryan was there to help clean him up, and our friends had an extra set of clothes. I felt defeated all over again.

On Monday I was home with Noah all day. I showed him the video first thing that morning before we met up for a playdate with my friend Allison and her little ones. After a full morning of playing at Trader's Point Christian Church, we drove back home. Noah started complaining that his stomach hurt, and I told him that he needed to go potty. He tried several times when we got home but would just get too scared. Finally, out of sheer exhaustion and frustration, I brought his potty out to the living room near where he was playing and told him to just run over and sit down when he felt the urge to go. It wasn't 60 seconds later that he ran over, sat down, and went. THANK THE HEAVENS! Our prayers for poo were answered once again! :) He earned his 5th sticker toward going to Chuck E. Cheese and only needed one more to finally go. We had been working on this chart for months.

Today, I was home with Noah again because he was sick with a cold and a fever. We watched his video this morning, and I crossed my fingers. Then, this afternoon, Noah pulled his little potty chair into the living room again where he was playing. It wasn't two minutes later that he went and sat down and went again! I am proud of him! Finally, he is getting the hang of it, and he earned his last sticker. Chuck E. Cheese, here we come (as soon as the fever subsides)!

Noah proudly cheesing it up with his sticker chart (don't mind the Goodwill donations behind him)

No, having him go in the living room doesn't really match the way we live our lives, but I'm bending here. He finally doesn't seem scared to go, and if this is what he needs to bridge the gap between going in a diaper and going on the potty in the bathroom consistently, then so be it! He's keeping his pants clean every day during his naps, and he really seems to be more comfortable with going on the potty. I call that a win!

We will see how the next week goes. I'm praying for more success! This post turned out MUCH longer than I intended, so if you're still reading, bravo! It's a little therapeutic to write about everything. Plus, when I turn my blog posts into books, I'll have these memories forever that I would have otherwise possibly forgotten as more important issues arise over the years. Hopefully, Noah will continue to do well with this second stage of potty training, and I will only have one set of poopy diapers to change come Spring.

Wine and Canvas

2011-01-27T14:18:00.001-05:00

Have you ever heard of Wine and Canvas? My coworker told me about it a few months ago, and when I saw that they were having an event at Stone Creek Dining Company, I thought it was the perfect opportunity for a girl's night. For $35 you get the canvas, paint, brushes, apron, easel, and the instructor's time. They also featured a deal on Living Social recently, where you could sign up for only $17. My friends Jessica and Jackie and I signed up for the session to paint "Fanciful Tree." See this link for their various events - there are different paintings all the time, so you can find one that works for the decor in your house.

They ask that you arrive 30 minutes early, so I got there at 5:30 to make sure we'd be able to sit together. I assumed that maybe 30 people would be there, so I was surprised to see tables set up for 100 people on Monday night! They had wine specials, which unfortunately I could not take advantage of that evening, so we each ordered a salad and an appetizer. After chatting until about 6:30 when everyone had finally arrived, the painting began. Before I knew it, we were splashing bright yellow, orange, and red on our canvas. I honestly thought we would be just relaxing and chatting and painting, but when it came down to it, we really had to focus! It was nice having good friends there and being able to help each other when something didn't look quite right. Our biggest challenge was when things looked just fine, and we needed to stop painting, but we couldn't resist tweaking this or blending that. Yes, that is something we called meddling.

Jessica and me painting (Jackie is to my right)

We took a break to let the background dry a bit and took advantage of the time to relax and hang out for awhile. I count my blessings everyday that I have friends like these two women. I met Jackie in May 2007, and we ran in the Bourbon Chase together in October 2009. I think I met Jessica sometime in 2009, and as our sons and husbands became good friends, we were able to spend more time together, too! They both go to Emmanuel and are the kind of women who push you to keep growing and moving forward. It's friends like these that have helped make Greenwood home for us.

After the break was over, it was time to draw the tree. While it seemed like we spent tons of time on the background, we flew through the tree part! It was fun to paint branches and then add the swirls all over the canvas. By the end of the session, it was 9:30 p.m., and I really felt like we had made some beautiful paintings! I am still trying to decide where to hang ours, but for now, it's sitting on my dresser. Ryan was really impressed with the final product, and when Noah saw it, he said, "Wow, Mommy, that's BEAUTIFUL!" It was precious! I had such a great time with my friends and look forward to going to another Wine and Canvas event again soon!

Jackie, me, and Jessica with our paintings

Christmas 2010

2011-01-24T15:38:00.000-05:00

After spending too much time writing an entire blog about Christmas this year and it being deleted by Blogger (GRR!), this is going to be a quick one told through pictures!

Christmas with my Mom, Kent, Dan, Kristen, Granddad, and Uncle Tom - the biggest pile of presents we've ever had! I can't imagine how big it will get when we add two more kids to the mix! I made spiral sliced ham, cheesy potato casserole, green bean casserole, Sister Schubert rolls, and a homemade dutch apple pie. Mom and I made a dozens of Christmas cookies earlier that week, and I must have eaten about 20 of them over the course of a month. Christmas just wouldn't be the same without them!

We spoiled Mom with a Kitchen Aid mixer this year! She was so surprised and loved it!

After seeing me wrap dozens of gifts, Noah would cover his toys with a blanket and put a ribbon and bow on top. This was one he made special just for me! Don't you loved the cocked head? It gets me every time!

PRECIOUS.

The Christmas tree after Santa arrived!

Noah's biggest gift from Santa - a remote controlled Buzz Light Year!

Mr. Jingles the Elf visited us everyday this Christmas season! He would hide in new places each day and report back to Santa each night if Noah had been a good boy or a bad boy. Jingles would tag along with us, too, when we went on trips or adventures. Good times! He went back to the North Pole after Christmas was over. Can't wait to see him again next year!

Noah playing with his new drum - of course his favorite is singing Happy Day while drumming away.

We moved the table in the kitchen so that he could ride around on his new scooter! For Christmas breakfast, I made our traditional croissant French toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon. We were so full of delicious ham and turkey from our other Christmas celebrations, so I made chicken and dumpling soup. It was delicious as usual! We had a nice relaxing day as a family! Ryan surprised me with the gray classic cardy Ugg boots I've been drooling over since getting brown ones last year for Christmas, and I got him some Vibram Five Finger running shoes. It was a perfect Christmas!

Baby boy at almost 22 weeks.

I'm so excited to have another baby at home with us next Christmas!

23 Weeks

2011-01-03T19:05:00.000-05:00

Finally! I have some new pictures of my belly. I have had a really hard time wanting to take pictures throughout this pregnancy. I felt so horrible the first 16 weeks or so, and I've been changing into my pjs early in the evening to be comfortable. Who wants to see a bunch of preggo pictures of me in my jammies?

Despite not documenting this pregnancy, I am totally falling in love with this little boy growing inside me! He is moving at regular times of the day - mostly first thing in the morning, after lunch, whenever I squish him by sitting to curled up, around 8:00 when we read Noah stories before bed, and just before I go to sleep at night. I love his little movements! We are getting closer to choosing a name, but as with Noah, it will probably be a surprise until he is born.

I have felt really well the last 5-6 weeks of this pregnancy. My energy level has been back to normal, and my appetite has been fine. I pushed it a little too much this past weekend. I made cake pops for 4 hours on Thursday and then cooked a lot of food in preparation for our New Year's Eve celebration all day on Friday. After staying up until 2 p.m. (I'm as shocked as you are!) on New Year's Eve and celebrating Christmas with Ryan's family Saturday and Sunday, I was BEAT! I crashed on the couch from 4:30-7:00 p.m. Sunday and again this afternoon for two hours. Hopefully I'll get back on track soon.

As the days pass by, I am getting more and more excited to meet this little guy. I'm so curious to know what he will look like, to get to know him, to love another son like I've never loved anyone else...I want to hold him and feel that perfect baby snuggle all over again. I can't wait to shower his face with kisses. I'm excited to see Noah as a brother and to see Ryan as a daddy all over again. Sometimes I feel like I'm living a dream come true, and then I realize I am. I count my blessings everyday and feel so fortunate for this opportunity to be a mom again.

My glucose test is tomorrow morning, and I'm guessing that I am going to fail it. I had gestational diabetes with Noah, and I just don't feel quite right when I load up on carbs these days. If I fail my one hour test, my doctor isn't going to even bother with the 3 hour test. We'll just assume I have it and start a strict diet. Four months of watching my carb intake won't be fun, but it's temporary. Spring will be here before we know it! Right now I feel like he will arrive April 23rd, but time will tell. I was 45 minutes off with my guess about Noah's birth, so we'll see how close I am this time around. Until next time!

A Rescue Mission

2010-12-23T12:22:00.000-05:00

At church the past few weeks, Danny has been calling Christmas a "Rescue Mission," and I REALLY like that perspective! It's so easy to get caught up in getting Christmas cards sent out (which we declined to do this year), buying the perfect gift for everyone on your list, decorating the house, baking cookies, and sharing delicious meals with the people you love most. Of course all of those things are fun and give us an opportunity to celebrate Christmas, but I'm really making an effort not to lose sight of the fact that Christmas is a Rescue Mission. Jesus was born in order to reconnect us with God. Despite even our best efforts, we all fall short of perfection. It's just the way things are. However, acknowledging Jesus as our savior - the person who paid the penalty for our imperfections - gives us the opportunity to not only live alongside God day to day, but also to spend eternity with him. So again, Jesus came to rescue us from the alternative - spending day-to-day life and eternity apart from God. How lucky are we?!

I was reading The Parable of the Sower (Luke 8:4-15) today, and it really touched me. It reads:

And when a great crowd was gathering and people from town after town came to him, [Jesus] said in a parable: A sower went out to sow his seed. And as he sowed, some fell along the path and was trampled underfoot, and the birds of the air devoured it. And some fell on the rock, and as it grew up, it withered away because it had no moisture. And some fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up with it and choked it. And some fell into good soil and grew and yielded a hundredfold. As he said these things, he called out, He who has ears to hear, let him hear."

As I began to think about the parable and question its true message, I saw that the answer was in the next several verses.

...Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. The ones along the path are those who have heard; then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. And the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear the word, receive it with joy. But these have no root; they believe for awhile, and in time of testing fall away. And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature. As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience."

Wow, is that sinking in for you like it did me? Throughout life, most of us have been exposed to God's truth just like this parable shares. Now the question is, which seed are you?

Seed on the Path - you hear the word of God, but you do not believe

Seed in the Rock - you hear the word happily but stray from what you know to be true when going through trials

Seed among Thorns - you hear the word of God but ignore its teachings in order to pursue what this world has to offer (money, success at work, popularity among others, etc.).

Seeds in Good Soil - you hear the word, and you bring the light of God into this world so that others who know you know that you love God.

I want so badly to be a seed in good soil, but I know there are times when I am a seed among thorns (ignoring God's word for worldly treasures that will never last or fulfill my life). I try my best to prevent that from happening by exposing myself to God's word every Sunday, by reading the Bible (I've been doing much better since I downloaded a Bible application to my phone), and by surrounding myself with friends and family who help keep me accountable for my behavior. I have gained so many friends at our church, and these people have helped me grow in my walk so much these past 3 1/2 years. Not only do they inspire me through the way they handle their own trials, but they also encourage me to live my life in a way that God intended for us to live. My point is, I hope to be a seed in good soil more and more often in all areas of my life: work, parenthood, marriage, friendship, in public, in private, and with family. There are so many people who have made such a positive impact on my journey as a Christian, and I hope each and every one of you know who you are. The gift you have given me this past year is priceless. I love you!

Sledding Adventures

2010-12-22T16:15:00.000-05:00

Noah has found his new favorite outdoor activity - sledding! A couple Sundays ago when we got a lot of snow, Ryan and I promised Noah that we would take him sledding after work on Monday. Although it was getting dark by the time Ryan got home, a promise is a promise! I think Noah was surprised by the amount of clothing you have to wear when you go sledding - especially when it is only 17 degrees! I dressed him in his socks, a pair of my socks that went to his thighs, two pairs of sweat pants, a t-shirt, a long sleeved shirt, a hoodie, his snow pants, winter coat, mittens, and a ski mask. Yes, he was completely decked out and looked like Randy from A Christmas Story! No, he could not put his arms down either. :)

Ryan and I put on our own layers of clothes, somehow fit Noah into his carseat, loaded the sleds, and off we went. Just down the street there is a big, fairly steep hill that no one seems to have discovered. It provided the perfect place to go sledding! I know I probably shouldn't have, but I took one trip down the hill with Noah - I couldn't resist. He loved it! I think Ryan and Noah must have gone down that hill at least 10 times. Noah even said he wanted to go backwards once, which was really fun. He said, "Bye, Mommy, I love you. Bye," and down he went.

A picture to prove I was there, too! :)

A few days ago, Ryan and Noah went sledding with our friend, Matt, and his little boy, Bryson. Jessica (Matt's wife) and I stayed at her house and enjoyed the warmth. Our due dates are about 11 days apart, and it will be fun to add two more little boys to the mix! Noah asks almost everyday to go sledding again. With all the snow coming this weekend, I'm sure it won't be long!

Christmas Tour 2010 - Part 1

2010-12-13T20:08:00.000-05:00

We started our Christmas festivities early this year! We loaded up Ryan's Jeep Patriot with all of our goodies and drove to South Whitley on Friday, December 3rd. Noah watched movies on Ryan's video iPod all the way there, which kept the drive calm and easy! Seriously, how did my parents make that drive when we were kids? No wonder my brother and I spent most of the drive looking out our own windows after getting in trouble for fighting in the back seat. :)

We made it there in one piece and put Noah down for a nap. I kept Danette company while she made a bunch of delicious goodies including these cute little gingerbread men with red hots. Ryan and Dad were updating their Garmins. After Noah woke up, we drove into town to eat at The Brownstone. We fought Noah 90% of the time to eat his meal. Regardless, the food was delicious as usual, and it's fun to see a nice restaurant in my home town.

Even Kya was excited to open her presents!

After everyone went to bed, Ryan and I started watching a movie, but before I knew it, I was nodding away, too. We bought Noah this great air mattress with bumpers, and he slept great all night! We woke up to monkey bread and mini quiches...delicious! Soon after we started breakfast, my brother and his wife arrived. They are due to have their first baby April 20th, so not even two weeks before our due date. How fun is that?? It was fun to talk about our pregnancies over breakfast.

Danette's dad, Dale, joined us soon after, and we started opening presents. We bought Kristen some Secret Fit jeans from Motherhood Maternity. Those were such a staple in my maternity wardrobe last time, and they are already coming in handy for this one. I had to make sure Kristen had a pair, too! We also found a cute heather gray shirt to go with her jeans. When I asked Dan what he wanted for Christmas, he said something Chicago Bears to decorate their office. I had no idea where to start until Ryan suggested an autographed picture. We found a print of this year's team's signatures on Soldier Field. I wasn't sure if it was something he would like, but turns out, he really loved it! PHEW! :) I always have a hard time shopping for my dad, but Ryan again came through with an idea - the new Crossroads DVD. He is always watching an old one, and the new one just came out in November 2010. He seemed to really like it! I also grabbed a Hickory Farms gift set because they are so delicious but hard to buy for yourself. :) We got Danette the Sex and the City 2 DVD, Half Broke Horses (a great book!), and some scentsy bars - you know, great girly stuff! We also bought Dale a gift card to a restaurant. Picking out gifts is one of my favorite things to do, and I bet this year, I did 95% of my Christmas shopping online. It's just SO convenient! What did you buy for the people you love?

Noah hit the jackpot! Dan and Kristen surprised him with the Dance Star Mickey Mouse! He went bananas when he opened it! We took it to our friends' house last night, and not only did Noah love it, but so did little Baby Ava (Dalia and Kevin's daughter) who is almost 7 months old. Dad and Danette bought Noah and our little yet-to-be-named Bambino lots of wonderful gifts. Noah's favorite items include a DVD of kids' Christian songs where his name is inserted all throughout, a book called There's a House Inside my Mummy, a Fisher Price cash register, and a Radio Flyer tricycle! I know, I know...he is SO fortunate to have gotten such wonderful gifts. Thanks again everyone!!!

Ryan and I were also really fortunate in what we received. Dad and Danette spoiled us with a new Sony HD video camera! It is SO nice, and now we can easily download videos onto the computer, and we can burn them on DVDs. We are still drooling over this gift, so thank you! Dan and Kristen got Ryan a kapo for his guitar and a DVD from the 80's called Making Mr. Right, which I've been dying to re-watch for years! Yes, I would say we all were very blessed this year!

Dad and Danette made a fabulous dinner for us - filets, twice baked potatoes, green beans, rolls, and lots of desserts. I filled myself into a food coma and put Noah down for a nap. After he woke up, we went to visit my cousin Joey, his wife Katey, and their three girls (yes, you read that correctly!). Daisy Louise was just born earlier that week, so we got to meet her for the first time. Noah had fun playing with Sydney while we had a nice visit. After having dinner and packing up the car, it was time to say goodbye. We had such a wonderful time and were reminded of how lucky we are to have such an incredible family.

What a Perfect Week

2010-11-28T21:58:00.000-05:00

Really - it was the perfect week. I know I've said it a million times, but I am so fortunate to be able to work part time and stay at home with Noah part time. It's helped to create a lot of balance in my life, and I count my blessings everyday that I get to enjoy this precious time with Noah before he grows up and goes to kindergarten. It did hit me a couple weeks ago that he is 2 1/2 years old now, which means my time with him at home is half over already. It just blows my mind how fast he is growing up!

When I build my schedule, I don't work Thanksgiving week because the kids are so hyper and excited, which makes testing for special education a little more difficult and a little less valid. I enjoyed every single minute of every single day I was home. On Monday we went to visit my mom at the hospital before she had surgery (she's doing great!), and then we went to the mall for a bit. As soon as we got in the door, we ran into my good friend, Leah, her mom, her two boys, and her two nieces. We got to visit with them for a bit, and then Noah got to see Santa for the first time. We didn't do the whole sit-on-Santa's-lap bit because Ryan wasn't with us, but he at least got to see who he was in person. The night before we had bought Noah a Mickey Mouse Saves Santa movie, and that has really helped him make the connection about who this Santa Claus guy really is.

After saying goodbye to our friends, we walked down to Auntie Anne's and bought a soft pretzel and cheese dip to share. We walked down to the play area to burn some energy but ended up not staying very long. I have a pet peeve when parents are too busy chatting with each other to make sure their kids are being nice to other kids. So rather than stew over it, we left and found a little Simon Foundation donation spot where you put in a coin, and it spins round and around until it finally drops into the container. Noah loved that! Then, we went over to the fountain and made some wishes with some more coins. I was truly just enjoying each simple minute we had together. Next we walked over to Build-A-Bear and made a teddy bear for a friend's daughter's birthday. Noah picked it out and enjoyed filling it up with fuzz. On our way out, we say a bright and colorful train that was driving around the mall. I promised Noah we would come back with Ryan and go for a ride on that train!

On Tuesday I took Noah to a play group at Chick-Fil-A for about an hour and hung out with some friends. After a quick trip to Meijer to pick up a few things, we drove back to the hospital to visit my mom, who was doing very well! Noah kept the atmosphere light saying things like, "We must get there before the moon is full!" and "That's the biggest tower I ever saw!" He must get this stuff from cartoons or something. After our visit, we drove down to our church for Noah's Thanksgiving party. He got dressed up like a little indian with the rest of his classmates, and they all had a feast with more pilgrims and indians - classic! I was so glad to have shared that time with him.

After Ryan got home from work, we turned on Tim Allen's The Santa Clause (our traditional let's-decorate-for-Christmas movie 5 years running) and got the decorations out of the attic. Noah was amazed by the tree and all of its lights. We have told Noah that after we turn on the magic, all he has to do is yell "Magic" at the tree, and the lights will turn on. You should've seen his face the first time he did it! PRICELESS. He still enjoys doing it each time we need to turn the tree back on.

Noah watching The Santa Clause in our papasan.

On Wednesday, I decided to start making Pioneer Woman's Cinnamon Rolls with Noah. He LOVES cooking and is a great helper, so it was a fun project to work on together. We had to make the dough and let it rise for a few hours that morning. We also survived a trip to Kroger together (thanks to a Mickey Mouse movie on Ryan's video iPod) including dozens of coupons. I spent $44 and saved $72...success!

When Ryan got home from work, we went back to the mall. Ryan was carrying Noah around on his shoulders when Noah spotted the train across the mall. He started squealing and pointing and yelling, "Choo choo, Daddy! Choo choo!" We caught up with the train, bought out tokens, and hopped aboard. As we toured around a couple of the malls' wings, Noah smiled ear-to-ear nonstop. We had so much fun! After a quick stop at the food court for pizza, we drove back home. It was time to finish our cinnamon rolls! I rolled out half of the dough and melted TWO CUPS of butter (yes, that is FOUR sticks!). I poured one cup of butter all over the dough, and Noah helped me spread it out everywhere. Then he poured on the sugar and cinnamon. I rolled up the dough and sliced it into 1 1/2 inch pieces. After repeating those , steps a second time for the other half of the dough, we had over 50 cinnamon rolls!

Thursday brought on another day of baking. We first made our cinnamon rolls with some eggs and bacon, and they were seriously, honest-to-goodness, the best cinnamon rolls I have ever eaten in my entire life! It was the perfect balance of bread and sugary goodness. We took some down to our neighbors and drove some over to our friends, Kevin and Dalia, too. Then we started making Paula Deen's pumpkin pie, which Ryan later said (unprompted) that it was by far the best pumpkin pie he had ever had (Note: I've made different pumpkin pies every year since we've been married). Then, after Noah's nap, we drove up to Ryan's parents' house to celebrate Thanksgiving. He was so well behaved, though wasn't a big fan of turkey unfortunately, and had a great time with his cousins!

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday each brought on more great memories with Noah and Ryan. We really enjoyed every minute we had together. I had to finish some reports for work this evening, so I turned on Nopey-Nope (Pinoccio), and he snuggled in right beside me on the couch. Then tonight, when I was putting himto bed, I got really teary. I am so sad that our week together is over. I had SO much fun! I know our days of having time for just the two of us are numbered, and I think that is partly why I am getting so emotional about it. He is becoming such a neat kid with such a fun personality, and I am going to miss him so much tomorrow when I go to work. Hopefully the day will go quickly, and with three case conferences, it should. I already can't wait to pick him up and play with him tomorrow night. I think we're going to make some Auntie Anne's pretzels together - the dough has risen, and now they just need to be rolled out and baked. I am already looking forward to the 3 weeks of time off that I have over Christmas. It is going to be a really special Christmas this year!

Happy Halloween!

2010-11-09T12:02:00.000-05:00

We had so much fun for Halloween this year! After much deliberation and sleepless nights, we decided to buy him a Mickey Mouse costume because that still is his most favorite thing in the world. Noah started the 4 day celebration with his classmates at church. They held a Fall party, and I didn't think much of it as the date got closer and closer, but when I went to drop him off, I felt really sad that I couldn't be part of it. Ryan - being the best dad in the world - skipped lunch and spent time with Noah and his friends for awhile. They played basketball, walked around collecting candy from various people, and played some other games. I'm so glad he was able to make it!

The second day consisted of a Halloween party at my friend/coworker's house. Marinda provided plenty of food for everyone, and when it got dark, she and her husband projected a kid-friendly movie onto a big screen outside. When we first arrived, Noah wanted to go up into the treehouse. He kept calling it his clubhouse, which was fitting in his Mickey Mouse costume. We weren't up there for more than 3 minutes when he grabbed himself and had a deer-in-headlights look on his face. I swooped him out of the treehouse as quickly as possible, but we were too late. We had to change him out of his black pants that matched his costume and put him in brown ones. At least it got dark pretty quickly! :) We ate some delicious hot dogs, baked beans, chips, and chocolate dipped pretzels. Noah thoroughly enjoyed his first popcorn ball, which was all over his face, costume, and hands. I got to visit with a bunch of friends from work for awhile, and then Noah hit a wall. Even the popcorn ball and backyard fun couldn't keep him going. We said goodnight and counted the night as a success overall!

Saturday brought Day 3 of our Halloween festivities. Ryan's sister, my nieces, my nephew, and my in-laws all came over so the kids could go to our Trunk-n-Treat event at church. Dozens of cars line up in the parking lot, and the kids walk around and go trick-or-treating. It's really cute! They had several games and some live entertainment; plus, I think I noticed about 40 kids enjoying the playground area. It was a zoo over there! The kids all seemed to have a great time, and I loved seeing them altogether. My mom and her husband even came by the church for a bit to see Noah all dressed up. Later our friends Leah, Joe, Little Joey, and Baby Ray came by for some Trunk-n-Treat fun! We had a great time!

Afterward, everyone came back to the house for some delicious chicken and dumplings, salad, breadsticks, and Halloween cake. It was so fun to have everyone over, and our entire house smelled like Thanksgiving! It made me so excited for the upcoming holidays.

On Sunday, our friend Dalia and her daughter, Ava, came over to help pass out candy for Halloween. Noah got dressed up yet again and went to a few houses around ours. We have one neighbor in particular who gets really into holidays, and he dressed up like Michael from the Halloween movies. It was super creepy, but if you were brave enough to approach him (and his axe), you got a full-sized candy bar. Reese Cups - get in my belly! Halloween was a lot of fun this year, and it's hard to believe we'll have two little boys to dress up. I can hardly wait!

"See ya real soon!"

15 Weeks

2010-11-08T10:52:00.000-05:00

Hooray! We are 15 weeks today! I go to the doctor tomorrow, and I can't wait to hear the baby's heartbeat again. Last week was really my first good week since before we hit the 6 week mark. I still sometimes get a little nauseous around 8 p.m., but it's inconsistent at this point. For the most part, I am feeling much more like myself again.

I always heard that you feel the baby move earlier in subsequent pregnancies, and that has definitely been the case for me! I felt Noah move for the first time around 18 weeks last time. I have probably been feeling this baby move since sometime in the middle of my 13th week. With Noah it felt more like bubbles popping, but this time, I am feeling more of a pushing feeling already. I will be excited to have our ultrasound (probably 4 weeks or so from tomorrow) in December. I look about 5 weeks further ahead than I am, though I have gained very little weight. I don't know how things just redistribute, but they do!

Thanks to my belly bands, I am still able to wear my regular pants and jeans. Plus, for whatever reason you are just smaller in the morning than in the evening, so I can squeeze into my regular clothes. I am so thankful that leggings are in this season because I am trying to wear them at least once a week to work. My work pants are definitely tighter than my jeans, so it's nice to be extra comfy one day at work. These pictures are from last Friday. We finally took some after so many people have asked for some belly shots!

As we speak, Noah is snuggled up next to my watching Pinocchio. I am cherishing this time with him right now, knowing it will never be just like it is again. He has one arm across my chest and his two feet propped up on my legs. He said he was a little "scared" and "afraid" when the movie first started, but I'm not sure why. I asked if he wanted to turn it off, and he said no. I just like that being close helps him feel better. So sweet!

The name game is a tough one. I think boys' names are the hardest to pick out. We had eight girls names, and we would've been happy with any of them. I have read every boys' name from two different books, and we have about five possibilities right now. People always ask about names, and it's so hard to want to share them because everyone has an opinion. If I hear a negative story about a name, then it's kind of tainted, and we won't want to use it. So, it'll probably be a big surprise come April/May! I still find myself smiling when I think of brothers...my two boys get to be brothers. Nothing has ever felt so sweet!

Fall Break Fun

2010-11-07T17:59:00.000-05:00

Ryan decided to take off Thursday and Friday a few weeks ago while I was on Fall Break, and we had SO much fun! First thing on Thursday, we took Noah to Splash Island in Plainfield. I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (for the second time) while Ryan and Noah played in the water. Noah's favorite part is the zero-entry pool that has a waterslide. I bet he went up and down that slide at least 30 times!

We took a short break for lunch from the snack bar - hot dogs, corn chips, nachos, and some drinks - and then back in the pool they went. After more trips around the pool and down the slide, it was time to get dressed, play inside a locker, and head home. We had such a great day together!

On Friday we had lots of fun things planned for Noah! First, we started out with a trip to the mall to return a few things, and then he got to play on their indoor play equipment. For some reason, he loves playing there! I've got to remember that for an upcoming cold day. Then, we stopped by Toys R Us to look at toys and to see if anything got our attention for Christmas ideas. Because we were taking Noah to Toy Story 3 at the dollar theatre after his nap, Ryan wanted to buy him a little Buzz Lightyear action figure. We played with the more expensive, shiny, loud Buzz Lightyears first, so when we bought the $8 use-your-imagination-to-make-the-sounds Buzz, Noah quickly said, "The button's not working!" We tried to explain the idea of making your own sounds and even did some great impressions, but he wasn't impressed. :)

After his nap, we went to the movie theatre. We had taken him to Shrek 3 a few months ago, and he made it for about an hour. This time, though, he seemed much more interested in the movie! I bought a little bowl that he could hold and filled it with popcorn a few times. He had a sippy cup of juice in one cupholder and his Buzz Lightyear in the other one. It was really cute! Noah made it through the whole movie, too. We had so much fun!

On Saturday and Sunday, we did other fun activities, but for the life of me and my pregnant brain, I cannot remember! Whatever it was, we had a great time. I remember thinking at the end of the weekend that it was the perfect Fall Break with my family!

Good Bye First Trimester

2010-10-26T11:18:00.000-04:00

We finally hit the first big milestone of pregnancy yesterday. The dreaded first trimester is behind us!! I couldn't be happier to be 13 weeks and have the majority of the nausea and sleepiness in my past. Let me catch you up on the past couple months of our lives...

Up until last Spring, Ryan and I had this satisfying feeling that our family was "complete," though we always knew we would probably have more children. Neither of us felt rushed to hurry and have another baby, knowing that when the time was right, we would just know. It was probably April when I first felt that old familiar feeling - something was missing. I really think God puts that feeling on our hearts when He decides its time for us to move forward our your journey rather than live with the status quo. The conversations about having another baby began, and we knew that a Spring baby would be great timing for my job.

In July, I totally thought I was pregnant! I had several symptoms and just felt pregnant; however, the pregnancy test was negative. As the end of August drew near, I didn't "feel" pregnant at all. I decided to take a prengnacy test on August 25th just to confirm my suspicions, but instead, I was totally surprised to see a plus sign quickly appear on the test. I started laughing to myself and double checked the directions to make sure I was reading it correctly. I went into the living room, and Ryan asked me why I was smiling. I announced, "We're pregnant," though I was still in total shock. We were both really happy, but since neither of us thought we going to be pregnant, we stayed in a state of shock for probably another 24 hours. Then we quickly began sharing the good news with our family!

I felt really decent for about two weeks after finding out we were pregnant. However, when we hit the 6 week mark, I experienced a quick 180 degree change. I felt nauseous 24 hours a day with no relief, and I started taking a 2-3 hour nap each day. Thank goodness for working part time! When people ask was ~~morning~~ ~~sickness~~ all day sickness feels like, I like to describe it as living with the stomach flu 24 hours a day minus the body aches for an unknown amount of time. You have to force yourself to eat, knowing that if you don't you'll only feel worse. Eating when you are experiencing a constant stomach ache is like going against nature. When you have that flu, you can lie in bed and starve yourself until it passes. With pregnancy, you have to keep living your life as close to normal as possible.

I felt really sick for about 4 weeks, and I really struggled with guilt during that time. I felt horrible for not spending good, quality time with Ryan and Noah. It's really hard to focus on meeting other people's needs when you are feeling so horrible, which only made me feel more selfish and guilty. Fortunately, I am feeling much better these days. I still feel sick during the evenings, and even that doesn't happen every night. I know I am turning a corner, but I can't wait until my stomach feels 100% normal again. I am sleeping really well from about 10:30 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. Then I toss and turn for the next 3-5 hours. For some reason, I am having a hard time sleeping comfortably. I slept great with Noah, so hopefully this isn't a sign of what's to come. :) I was SO good about sleeping on my left side at night when I was pregnant the first time but am having so much more trouble with that this time. Did any of you other moms ever experience that??

Two weeks ago, Ryan and I had our first prenatal appointment. We met with Dr. Soper, and she was more personable than I remember her being last time. Maybe I passed her test of going through natural childbirth, so now she's going to be more laid back this time around?! We sat in her office for awhile answering various questions. When I told her the first day of my last period was July 26th, she said, "You're not going to believe this, but you are the third person in a row to say that same date." How crazy is that?? This means we share a due date with at least two of her other patients.

Next we went into the exam room. She put the jelly on my belly and quickly found my heartbeat with the doppler. I found myself holding my breath while she searched for the baby's heartbeat, and fortunately, we didn't wait more than a few seconds. The woosh, woosh...woosh, woosh..woosh, woosh quickly filled the room. I think my heart skipped a beat with excitement. It really is the best sound in the world! I told Dr. Soper my concerns that maybe I was carrying twins due to my family history and how quickly I was showing already. I had only gained 3 lbs., buy my stomach looked 4-5 weeks ahead of my last pregnancy. She said that the size of my uterus really makes her think it's just one baby. It was enough to put my mind at ease, but until I see an ultrasound, I am not putting the possibility out of my mind.

The coolest part about this appointment was learning that there is a new test that can be done to determine the baby's blood type. I am Rh negative, and Ryan is Rh positive. I had to have two injections of Rhogam with Noah due to our different blood types. The first one they do as a default at 28 weeks. Then, when Noah was born, and they found out that he was Rh positive, too, I had to have another injection. This time, a new technology has been developed where they took a blood sample from my arm, and they can determine the baby's blood type while it is in utero. How cool is that?? This will help know with certainty whether or not I need Rhogam. As a bonus, this company that analyzes the blood will also tell you the sex of the baby. Since we didn't find out last time because that was what I prefered, we already knew we were going to find out this time as a compromise. So we signed up for both test results!

I had a voicemail on my phone last Wednesday from Dr. Soper saying our test results were in a week earlier than we expected! I was heading into a case conference, so I sent Ryan a text message that they were in. He asked if he could call Dr. Soper to find out, and I thought it would be really neat for him to know before me, so I agreed. He text me back about 20 minutes later and wrote, "I know...." About an hour and a half later, I was finally home and was about to burst at the seams. Ryan was already there with Noah, so I ran inside and made him tell me everything from the very beginning. I love the build up that leads to surprises! He said he was so excited, and his heart was racing so fast when he called that he could barely articulate why he was calling. Dr. Soper called him back and explained the technical infomration about the blood test. She then shared that the baby was Rh negative, just like me! That was exciting news! Two less injections I have to deal with in this pregnancy! Then, Ryan teased me for a bit when I asked what the baby's sex was. Finally he said, "We're going to have....a baby.......

...BOY!"

I was so happy and got a tear in my eye. Another boy. A brother for Noah. Another son. Questions started going through my mind as I wondered what he would look like or be like. There is no way we could have another blue eyed, blond haired child, right? What are the chances? Will he be a good sleeper? Will he be as sweet as Noah? Will he have a funny sense of humor? So many questions that only time can answer. I am so happy to get to know this little boy and cannot wait to feel him move for the first time. I am so happy that Noah will have a brother, and that as they go through life, they will have each other! I hope we can provide the kind of home where their friendship will grow over time despite their differences...that they will always respect each other and take care of one another.

Brothers. I love it!