PA - Two Letters Never Meant So Much

It happened! We got PA...Pre-Approval that Tucker can be our son! The first time I laid eyes on him, he looked like this:

I just stared at his picture and cried, asking the Lord, "Is this my son? Could this be him?" Ryan and I tried to protect our hearts, afraid to fall too fast and then lose him somehow. But before we knew it, this little boy filled a space in our hearts and consumed us just as much as Noah and Liam.

I tried to imagine what that must have been like to be taken outside to the playground, specifically to take pictures for his adoption file. I wondered if he ever got to play on that playground just for fun. I found this picture from another momma's blog about her trip to Tucker's same orphanage. Seeing this picture brought me to tears.

This is where Tucker lives. It is enormous, and he has never had a mother or father to love and care for him. Heartbreaking. So happy that Tucker will come home to a family who will love him forever and ever.

In mid-March, an incredible momma went to Tuck's orphanage to pick up her son. She was able to meet Tucker, play with him, and give me some new pictures and videos of our sweet boy. It was truly one of the biggest blessings of my entire life. For the first time since seeing his face, I was able to see that he was alive, healthy, happy, and well.

The first picture I saw of Tucker from her trip

I stare at this picture all throughout the day. The smile that tells my heart, "I am ok. I will be ok until you get here." The dimples that remind me of Ryan, Noah, and Liam. The adorable little fingers that I can't wait to hold. His beautiful eyes that I can't wait to look into for the rest of his life. I yearn for the day that I can hold him, kiss him, and tickle him. I can't wait to hear his laugh and to hear him speak. I look forward to the day that I can show him that I will never leave him...that he will never be alone. When he falls, I will catch him. When he cries, I will comfort him. When he is sick, I will care for him. Forever. For always. I will be his mom.


Liberty said...

Tears of joy from reading this!! So happy for you and for Tucker. It is so clear that the Lord is at work in your family...

~aj~ said...

We are also adopting from China and I just wanted to say that your son is PRECIOUS! Hope the rest of the process goes quickly and smoothly for you!

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