Love. It's such a crazy thing. Sometimes you see it coming, and then it gradually builds and fills you up. Other times it takes you completely by surprise, and before you know it, this love has completely consumed you. The love of a mother is unconditional, powerful, and overflowing. This love gives way to many joys, many sacrifices, many tears, and many celebrations. A mother would give her life for the children she loves without giving it a second thought. I have to believe it is the kind of love that Jesus felt when He died on that cross.
What's amazing about a mother's love is that it knows nothing of gender, color, ability, or country. It is not bound by rules of our culture or by rational thinking. This is a love that at the second of conception begins to grow and fill a mother's heart and soul. A woman carrying her child loves that baby from the moment she knows it exists. She thinks about the baby at all times whether waking up, eating breakfast, getting ready, going to work, driving home, enjoying dinner, or going to bed. A mother loves that child and is aware of her baby's existence every moment of every second of every day as it grows inside her.
What I learned on January 23rd is that this love is not experienced only by women in pregnancy. This unconditional, I-would-do-anything-to-keep-you-safe-and-protect-you kind of love is also completely experienced by a mother going through the adoption process. It is all-consuming, all-encompassing, all the time. The little boy who is nearing his second birthday, a child I have never met, has blessed me with a love like this. He feels like my son in the same way that Noah and Liam felt like my sons as I felt them rolling around in my belly and stretching their tiny bodies inside me. God did not form this little boy in my womb, but this sweet child was born in my heart. You begin doing everything in your power - and pray to God for all that is not within your control - to bring your baby home.
A love like this, my love for all three of my children, is what keeps me strong while we wait and wait and wait. Our dossier was sent to China 18 days ago, and we are eagerly awaiting the news of our LID (Log-In-Date). Then we will wait again for PA (Pre-approval), and once received, we will shout our son's name from the rooftops and post pictures for the world to see! We will be a forever family, with a love like this.