Today has been just that - a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I feel like I'm failing. I really do try to give my best everyday to all situations and in all relationships, but I totally fall short.
I need to pull weeds, clean windows, power wash the house, put away laundry, cook dinner, take inventory of my deep freezer, get Liam's toys/jumperoo out of the attic, wash fingerprints off walls and doors, deep clean parts of the house, throw out my failure-of-a-garden (due to lack of watering during the hottest summer ever!), wash and vacuum my car, purchase dozens more prizes for work, create a menu for the week, re-caulk in our master bathroom, make a decision about repainting in more neutral colors, organize my clothes in the closet, take clothes to the dry cleaner, write 3 thank you notes, sell a bassinet, file important documents, trim bushes/cut down lilies, work 2 1/2 days a week, water our yard, feed Liam 6-7 times a day, play with Noah, spend time with my husband, keep up on social contacts, stay in touch with family, read the Bible daily, work on my small group's character study (I'm working on - you guessed it - patience), buy gifts for upcoming celebrations, pick up heartworm medicine for Kya...the list goes on and on.
Don't think for a second that I am delusional enough to think that your list isn't just as long as mine. I know it is. I know you feel buried underneath it sometimes, too. It totally stinks! Sometimes I feel like I'm balancing my work and play really well, and other times, I'm drowning in one or the other. I hate feeling this way. Most of all, though, is hating feeling like a bad mom or wife. The guilt that I can feel in those two relationships is unbearable. It makes my never ending to do list seem so much more overwhelming.
Going back to work has been a difficult transition, and to be honest, it probably always is. I just don't remember it being that difficult because it only happens once a year. I will be glad when we are in our routine again, and my life feels balanced because for now, it's just a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.