8.14.2009

He's All Growns'd Up & He's All Growns'd Up



My baby boy isn't a baby anymore. I don't know how the time went so quickly, but Noah is over 15 months old now. Can you believe it? When he was born, I loved him instantly. I mean, he's my heart outside of my body. He's the best of Ryan and me combined. He's perfectly beautiful, and I love him more than I ever thought possible. This morning, as I watched some little boys waiting for the bus, I realized that Noah is going to be getting on that bus sooner than I want to believe! I can honestly say that every single day Ryan and I just take a step back and watch Noah. We watch him playing, smiling, being goofy, crying, snuggling us, etc. I don't want to forget what he was like at this age. It makes me nervous to have another baby...to have my attention split, knowing that you just cannot be in the same situation as you were with just one child.

Ryan and I have talked several times about having just one child. Things are just so easy right now and manageable in our day-to-day lives. Why change that? I know you just adapt to the change of having two little ones, and I know you love your second child just as much as you love the first one. I don't know...it just seems so much more chaotic! Plus, childcare is just so expensive. I don't know how people really afford it. I was talking to someone recently who is paying over $1,000 a month on childcare for her two kids. I mean, that is a mortgage payment for lots of people! It's crazy. So, for now, unless God has different plans for our lives, we are REALLY happy with just Noah. I'm sure we will have more children someday. I just know that I'm not ready...yet. :)

I went back to work earlier this month, which is partly why I haven't written in awhile. It's always an adjustment, figuring out how to accomplish everything I need to do at home, as well as manage everything at work. This year seems to have started off especially busy, though I'm not sure that it truly is busier...or if the pace of the year evens out as time goes on, so when I hit the beginning of the school year rush that I feel like I'm running around like mad. One thing is for certain - I LOVE MY JOB! I just know it's exactly where I'm supposed to be when I'm there. Then, when I'm home with Noah, I again get that feeling that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. It just feels right, working part time! I am so fortunate to be able to do that.

Sometimes I want to pinch myself to make sure that all of this is real. I am the luckiest woman in the world!

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